Rob's Comedy Blog

A Sad Day Indeed

2007-11-21T09:29:00.001-08:00

Two Days ago, the unthinkable happened. My Xbox 360 decided it wanted to take a holiday for the holidays. Heidi and I have guests arriving for the weekend, and we were going to be throwing down on some video games. In anticipation, I went to Blockbuster and rented Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare. I’d seen some adds and had been hearing the hype, so I wanted to check it out. After popping it in for all of about 3 minutes, I was going through the training section and my system froze. It was odd, but I just turned off the machine and powered back up. It went to just about the same spot and froze again. This time, when I powered back up, I had three red lights shining back at me.

This didn’t feel so much like a disappointment, but more like I had a loved one taken away from me. Perhaps really not that drastic, but my gut dropped. I take good care of my stuff, and kept it in a well ventilated area, but my launch time 360 finally bit the bullet. Dealing with the problem wasn’t too bad, I called Microsoft, and they are sending a package aka “The Coffin” to send it in for repairs and they will cover the costs of repair and shipping. I am however going to be without my primary means of entertaining myself for probably about a month or so. I have other game systems however, but really it’s not quite the same. It’s kind of like, you’ve been dating the head of the Cheerleading squad for a couple of years, and then she breaks up with you for some guy in his Sophomore year in college studying the metaphysics of plutonium’s affect on tumors in lab rats. Then after she breaks up with you, you have to go back to the girl with the last eye from the glee club that you had said a few nasty things about when you started getting busy with the popular girl.

So instead of fragging noobs in Halo3, and pulling a laserflip to frontside crooks over the gap and dropping in on the hubba in “Skate”, I’ll be rolling balls made of paperclips and kitty cats in Katamari Demacy, and getting some kills in on Black, but still there’s that empty feeling of not playing online with the headset. Not only that, I just ordered 2 games that are coming from Amazon.com and they’ll just have to sit and wait for me. The last 2 mornings have been strange.

I’m a creature of habit. If things aren’t going in order, I tend to forget things and have a strange feeling of emptiness about me when my routine is bothered. Sometimes I may forget to take medicine, sometimes I may skip taking out the recycling. Little things, but enough to know that something’s not right. It’s going to be a long hard road until my system comes back from repair, but I hope it flies by and I’ll be back to my old habits when it comes back and I won’t have to dread the ring of red.

It seems strange to have something so trivial taken away from me. What’s next? No flashy sneakers? No juvenile hip hop? No pizza? Dark days are ahead, and I hope that’s the end of my troubles for awhile.

Until next time, happy gaming?

Artistic Cock, or Terrible Gift?

2007-11-14T05:36:00.001-08:00

There’s one of those moments that will hit you. An Epiphany. Sometimes it’s in the form of just the right punch line to a joke, sometimes, it’s realizing you can make a difference in someone’s life, and sometimes it is when you find just the right gift for the right situation. Enter the glass rooster.

Here’s the situation. I got invited to a home warming party. It’s for a couple of old friends that I used to work at Souper Salad with. It was one of the greatest jobs I’ve ever had and made so many great friends. It was a job that never really paid the bills fully, but you had so much fun there it was hard to leave. Even when I worked full time as a Tandem Mainframe operator, I still worked on the side there to make some extra scratch and hang out with my friend Mark Caulkins. Throughout the years I’d worked there, I’d been kind of known as a goofy funny kid. Not much as changed, but Souper Salad doesn’t exist anymore and this is a good opportunity to see old friends.

The invitation said “no gifts”, but seriously who ever listens to that. Not that I’m going to go out and buy a crystal vase or anything ridiculous, but I needed to bring something. My plan was to go to Marshalls and pick out something crazy, leaning towards the side of ugly. Not so much to be a jerk, although that’s a bonus, but for that golden moment when someone opens a bad gift and they’re forced to pretend they like it. I was thinking of a beaded monkey or perhaps a gilded pig, but then like a shining beacon from heaven, my eyes landed upon the rooster. The sound dropped from my ears and a moment of vertigo took over. There was nothing existing in this world at that moment aside from this hand blown glass cock from China. How could I resist. I walked around Marshalls with it clutched to my body like a Heisman trophy. Tucked into the crook of my arm so as not to drop it, it was more precious than a Ming Vase.

Look at it. It’s hard to look away, and it’s stunning in its ridiculousness. It came in at a whopping $7.99 because it was from Marshalls, but I think it would be safe to say that if it were at a gallery in Portland it would fetch hundreds. From the side, it catches the light just right and if you listen close enough you can hear the faint whisper of angels singing. But from the front, it looks like a full on infected pecker. And I don’t mean that in the sense that he’s a foul and eat with his pecker, I’m referring to if this were a flower, it would be the stamen.

Giddily I went home and snapped a couple of pix of it to capture the beauty, and wrapped it up until it unveiling on Saturday. I don’t really know for sure what my friends will think of their rooster, but I sure hope the moment is awkward. Because if you can’t take joy in the awkward moment of a young couple unwrapping a glass cock, what can you really take joy in?

What’s Going On????

2007-11-12T06:07:00.000-08:00

A lot of things have happened since my last post. I know I haven’t been very diligent about updating my blog, and for some reason, lately I’ve been getting hits, so I thought I’d make a quick post.

Behold the power of the dragon. The time I normally would have been doing stand-up has now been filled with the sounds of myself getting punched in the face. Heidi and I have been taking karate since January and have been moving up the ranks. Starting at white belt, then yellow, then orange, and currently we’ve graduated to purple belt. It’s something we both always wanted to do when we were younger, and figured what the dilly-oh, let’s do it. We’re part of the Villari’s school out of Scarborough, and I’m pretty surprised how much we’ve learned up to this point. That, and Heidi looks cute as a button in her karate PJ’s.

I’ve still been thinking about comedy and keeping the wheels moving. I’ll be back to represent in 2008’s Portland’s Funniest Professional. I’ve got a few more jokes lines up playing off my Fajita joke, and those folks that have heard it seem to like that direction of my humor. I still miss standing in front of a crowd making them laugh, but the constant nagging fear of “this could be the single worst moment of your life” thought of bombing onstage no longer haunts me.

Recently, people have been asking me a lot about stand-up, even though I’m not active. A really cool thing happened during the World Series in October. I wanted to go to Olympia Sports in the mall and pick up a Red Sox players hat for the Series. A kid behind the counter that I didn’t even know asked me if I was still doing stand up. I was kind of shocked, I didn’t expect it. He said he’d caught my act before and really liked it, especially my Red Sox joke, which is actually my Swahili Lover joke which is also one of my favorites. It almost always works. That was a really great feeling. As I’ve said before, if I can say something funny and put a positive spin on something someone experiences later on in life, I feel good about what I’ve done. That was quite the circular sentence, but you get the gist.

The Red Sox won the World Series. It was just as sweet to see it the second time. I got to go to a couple of great games this year too, with great seats. I saw Dice-K’s first game at Fenway, from about 10 rows behind the Sox dugout. I was in heaven. Elliott hooked me up with a free ticket for that game. I also got to see Clay Buckholts’ first game for the Sox too. My dad brought me along as his guest and we were on TV most of the game we were so close. Also another highlight, that and my dad’s cancer (he states) is close to in remission. He’s hard of hearing though, but he really is doing so much better than a couple years back when we almost lost him.

I’m on two wheels. Maybe not now because it’s gotten cold, but Heidi and I got our motorcycle permits. I bought a 150 cc moped online and put most of it together. It was a great way to learn about my scooter, but I didn’t expect to have to assemble so much of it. Because of the size of the motor, I had to register it as a motorcycle, but it’s been a ton of fun. I’ve gotten it up to about 70mph and put well over 500 miles throughout the season. Because it gets around 90 miles to the gallon, I’ve saves a ton on gas over the summer on my commute to work and back. It’s been a blast, and Heidi and I go on rides all the time when it’s warmer. I may have to move up to something in a big boy bike next year or so, but for now, the moped does the trick.

I’ve been listening to a lot of music lately. One of my favorite finds recently has been MC Chris. If you’re familiar with Aqua Teen Hunger Force, he plays the part of MC Pee Pants. His voice is very high pitched, and at first I had a hard time getting used to it, but after a few listens, its fine. His creativity is really well executed. He can really puts images and phrases together so well, and raps about video games and Stare Wars among other things. I’m real impressed, and his music has been kind of inspirational in my thought process for some of my newer jokes. Not lifting or using his material, but following his thought process. Redman is also a great inspiration to me in the same way in my comedy.

I’ve been playing quite a bit of video games on my 360 lately too. I just beat “skate” which was rad beyond rad. It made me wish I still had that coordination to skate still, but sadly I do not. Bioshock was pretty slick too, but now I’m engulfed in the world of Halo3. Heidi’s brother plays it quite a bit, and he’s really good. We play on XBOX Live when we can. If you play Halo3 and want an easy frag, check me out my gamer profile is: peabean. It’s a combination of my nickname for Heidi “Peanut”, and my musical nom de plume Beanz, from when Pork and Beanz was all the rage.

Speaking of comedy and CD’s, you have to check out Mike Birbiglia’s new one. My Secret Public Journal Live. If you’ve heard his older stuff, some of it will be redundant, but he put it together really well. Also I was surprised with how much I enjoyed Patton Oswalt’s Werewolves and Lollipops. Normally I find his comedy to be too formulaic, but this time it worked more fluidly. Then my friend Mike said he thought this new album seemed a lot like how I tell jokes. That was a nice compliment.

The Celtics are contenders once again. Anyone who knows me, knows I’m a rapid Orlando Magic fan, but Mike and I have been going to the Celtics for a couple of years now. I’ve enjoyed them as a secondary team, but I cheered for them in the New England way. I’d sit there and go “Yup, that’s why they suck” pointing out their faults and giving my opinion on how they could be a legitimate franchise once again. Usually bitching about the selfishness of Paul Pierce or the inability of Coach Doc Rivers ability to coach anything. He was fired from Orlando a couple years back at his supreme ability to suck in an unparalleled fashion. Now with the acquisition of Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen, even with Doc’s horrible coaching they’re doing great things. 5 and 0 as of this post. Let’s hope they keep it up.

My favorite football team, Packers, are still kicking bootay! Behind the helm is the man Brett Favre. I have a man crush on him. Nothing involving penetration, I just think he’s cooler than titties. I expect the bottom to fall out at some point in and around the playoffs, but I’m riding high for right now.

I guess this isn’t such a quick post after all. I guess I’ll tie it up for now, and will try and make a valid attempt to update this more frequently. There’s tons of other stuff that’s gone on since my last post, but I’ll catch up on that as we go.

What's Going On? Are You Retired? Again?

2007-07-02T06:55:00.000-07:00

I keep hearing it. Are you done? Did you break your funny bone in a horrible gardening accident? Are your stand-up comedy days over? The answer is no, I'm not done and I'm not retired. But I'm not performing. What does that mean? Just about what it sounds like. It's a little cryptic, I know.

Here's the scoop. I'm not retired. I said thank you in my last post, but not as a goodbye. It was an honest heartfelt thank you. The thing is, I'm a stand-up comic. I've got it in my blood, but I became a little too addicted to it, I guess. I had to curb my habits. It felt great to be up there and people were eating up the funny things I had to say. It did wonders for my self-esteem. It was a great escape from the things that were taking a toll on me. The passing of my mother, my father's illness, and my own scare with cancer (still waiting to hear back on that one, but no longer worried about it). Although it took me out of that frame of mind, it took me away from other things that mattered to me. My personal life, and those that I love and care for. I guess I became distracted, and that wasn't fair of me.

So how is that not retired? It's simple. I plan on coming back and doing the Portland's Funniest Professional Competition each year. That way I'll still get to bring it out once a year, dust off a couple of old jokes and have a couple new ones to debut. I figure if I can bring 5 minutes of rabid humor each year, I'll be satisfied. My goal has never been to become famous or anything, it was just to release a creative outlet for myself. I've always done something artistic, be it music, comedy, painting, drawing, or writing novels. I always seem to have some sort of creative feeling to release. If people heard my jokes and look at anything differently or from another angle, I think I did my job.

I know some of my fellow comedians wanted to know what happened to me, I've been a bit of a hermit from the scene. I felt that I needed to remove myself from it, or I'd never be able to leave it behind me. I made some great friends, and hopefully this will make some sense to them why I'm out of contact. Just think of me as the little dog that ran away. If I truly love it, I'll be back, if I run away it was just meant to be. Just know this, I never meant to pee on the rug.

Until the next performance at the Portland's Funniest Competition, I'll update the blog every now and again. Probably nothing for my comedy routine, I'd like the humor to be a surprise to those that like my stuff when I get there. I'll be going on road trips and will take artsy pictures from time to time and make a post. Just know I'll be thinking of new jokes for my 3-5 minutes of glory next year. Enough funny stuff will happen between now and then. As a matter of fact, I've ordered a scooter to save on gas milage. If something ridiculous doesn't come of a grown assed man riding a scooter, I've lost complete control of my comedy barometer. Until you see me on the stage again, know I'm still thinking of it, and will do my best to impress when I get back.

Also, some comics asked to use my material or buy jokes from me. My jokes aren't for sale. Even if I don't use them, a joke seems like such a personal thing, I couldn't feel comfortable doing that. Although I have been flattered that a couple people have used my material with permission, I hope that's as far as it goes. The Portland comedy scene is so ripe with talent right now, anybody can write something more prolific than I have. Trust yourself. The reason you're a stand-up comic is because you feel you have something funny to say, not something funny to repeat. Not busting chops, just explaining why I don't want to seperate my material for someone else's gain.

Thank You

2007-05-15T03:52:00.000-07:00

I wish it was something more profound. But "thank you" just about covers it. It'd be more powerful if this blog were a big white space like a snow covered field with those two words in the center, challenging you to think of anything more appropriate outside of those words, but it's not that way.

Thanks to everyone that said I was funny. Thanks to everyone that came to a show to see me perform. Thanks to my fiance for putting up with me while I lived out a childhood dream. Thanks to all the other comics I met and had fun with on the way. Thanks to all the clubs that gave me 5 to 30 minutes to make people laugh. And mostly, thanks for the laughs. A momentary hiccup of breathing that happens almost by accident for some, but it meant the world to me.

Thank you.

Not Too Bad, But It Could Have Been Better

2007-05-03T03:16:00.000-07:00

I had been saying all along that I didn't care if I went through and won the competition, and that wasn't a lie. Up until a couple of days ago. Somewhere along the lines, it got in my head that I did want to win it. All through the couple days leading up to the show, the thought kept running through my head "This is my competition to lose". I'm not sure if that's what took me out of last night or not, but I can tell you this, I was disappointed.

And I wasn't disappointed that I didn't win. My real problem was that I had gotten so wrapped up in it, that I didn't have the best set I could. My material was fine, but I was a bit rushed, and I was very nervous last night. More so that I usually get. Also there were some mic problems that were affecting me, which didn't seem to happen to anybody else, but that could be because of the odd way I hold the mic. I can't be sure if it was the anticipation of the show, or hearing less than desirable news at the doctor's office, but something had my nerves up pretty good last night. But it's behind me now and I'm a bit relieved that I don't have to go through that anymore. I know those all sound like excuses, and I'm not saying it would have been different had everything gone perfectly. It probably wouldn't have, I'm just painting a picture from my perspective.

Congrats go out of course to Timmy Brochu, Chuck Sanborn, and Renee Wright for moving on to next week's finals. I wish you luck, because I probably won't be there to see the show. It was fun while it lasted, and I wish everyone luck in the competition.

One really cool thing that came out of last night was a story I heard in the "green room" before the show that cheered me up. Ian Harvey had left Portland a few months back to head out to L.A. to hone her/his craft. Working in a niche demographic of gay/lesbian humor, she got taken on by Margaret Cho to open shows for her. She told me that she's always talking about different jokes that her friends back in Maine tell, and she told Margaret Cho my "Douchebag (Dowshbag)" joke. I asked if she liked the joke, and she said she almost pissed herself. I can't be really sure if she liked it really that much but it was still a cool story to hear. To think that my little joke in little old Portland Maine, made it to Cho's ears, who makes scratch for being a professional and made an impression, well that was the cat's pajamas.

I do appreciate all of the people that did come out to support me, and I apologize that it wasn't my best work. I've done better and I'll do better again. Comedy isn't easy, and it isn't an exact science either. You try and learn and move on. With that said. I'll be back on the little stage in front of the bricks again on May 13th. I'll be hosting that night and plan on having some fun with the crowd. We'll see if it goes well or poorly, but either way, you'll be able to read about it on the 14th.

Phew! That's Out Of The Way

2007-04-27T03:45:00.000-07:00

Last night, my set was good and bad. It's hard to explain why this makes me feel good, but most honestly it's because I'm a little superstitious. I had been on a stretch of really great shows. It seemed like I could do no wrong, and it was making me uncomfortable. Anybody that's worked in stand-up will tell you, you're bound to have some stinkers in the mix, it's just how it goes, but it'd been too long.

First off, the first half of my set went great. I was killing throughout. That was the set I keep running getting ready for Portland's Funniest Professional next Wednesday. I feel really good about that set, and feel it represents my humor well, as far as delivery, content, and creativity. The material isn't over the top raunchy either, and as a matter of fact, I don't believe there's any cussing at all in the set.

The second half of my set is where the gravy train lost the biscuit wheels. I didn't bomb at all, but I wasn't cohesive either. I ran a couple of new ideas I had floating around, but it's obvious they need to be flushed out to become jokes. I ran a couple of other jokes too, and my "accidentally gay" joke seemed to have fallen a little flat last night. In retrospect, it still got laughs, but maybe I'd gotten too used to the harder laughter my usual set gets. Not a problem though, I took the opportunity to play with the crowd. It was fun, and I realize that when I "spar" with the audience, I usually do pretty great. It's becoming a bit of a fail safe for me to bail out if I don't like how things are going.

I capped the set with a street joke, but I had gotten away from my clever joke material, so it seemed to come out of left field. It got some laughs and chuckles, but not uproarious by any means. But it felt good to get it out of the way, to suck a little life out of the room. I'm not very worried about that for next week though, because I feel like I have my competition set down pretty well, and there's not a lot of room for error. When you only have between 3 and 5 minutes, you don't play much with the crowd, and surely don't bounce new material off a crowd.

I'm excited for the competition. Once again, not because I think I'll win, because the crowd should be big and fun. Also I'll be tripping the light fantastic with some great comics and close friends. I was sad to find out that my friend Dustin didn't make it to the finals. He went over on his time, and if you go over, it's done for you. I was really hoping to find myself, him, and Timmy Brochu on the last night if possible. Those have always been my favorite shows to do all along. They're great guys and really funny. I think the three of us have material that plays well off the other and our target audience is about the same.

My next update should be next week Thursday morning, because the competition is on Wednesday night. Regardless if I have a great night, or a lousy one, you'll still get to hear about it. Wish me luck and say some prayers. Because as we all know, God wants a little unknown comic from Portland Maine to do well with his fart and rape jokes.

Stimulater!

It Felt Pretty Good.... Aside From The Poops!

2007-04-23T03:14:00.000-07:00

I had a show last night, and it was the first one since the 1st round of the competition. I wasn't entirely as sharp as I'd like to be, but that's why I asked to go up before the semi finals, I want to work out any nervousness or kinks. And I did. My set all-in-all was actually quite good.

My set for the competition is 5 minutes long, and when I showed up last night, I was scheduled to do 10. What I basically did was my competition set, which still did great even though it was a pretty small crowd, and then played with the crowd for the remaining 5 minutes. That worked out pretty well and was fun, considering I'll be hosting in a couple of weeks, it was actually pretty good practice.

The tough part was the little things that were adding up to try and shake my confidence. I was kind of tired, first of all. Heidi and I had been doing some housework etc for a good portion of the morning. At lunch time, we went to the Clambake for lunch. We ended up crashing after that for a nap, and a gigantic plate of fried clams just stewed in my belly for a couple of hours. We went out to the movies to see Hot Fuzz with my friend Mike and his wife and followed that up with dinner at Chia Sin. Flash forward about an hour and I still have the United Colors of Benetton in my belly. From Scarborough to South Portland my body decided it no longer wanted to keep any of the food in my lower half. We stopped by the house and I exorcised what looked like a demon made of funnel cakes.

While we were at the club, we watched the show. I was hoping to be on early so I could go home and catch the end of the Red Sox game and maybe the Sopranos and Entourage, but no dice, I was closing the show. While we were sitting there with Dustin, he decided that he'd like to introduce his beer to my penis, and spilled it all over my crotch. He said he thought he might have a spare pair of pants in his car, but I figured I'd try and use the situation to my advantage onstage. I did a little, it was okay. I also got a really skinny kid named Ben to come onstage and almost strip. I told him he needed to finish a joke I told him, or he'd have to get naked for the crowd. I didn't force the issue, but the crowd chanted for him to take it off. It would've been awkward to see, but really funny if it had payed off. It was funny in the end and he was ultimately embarrassed beyond belief. He and the crowd had a good time with it.

Overall my nerves were a little up, but I don't think it mattered because the crowd like me last night. Also I have one more show before the semi-finals this Thursday, so it'll all be good. I'll run my set again and maybe have some more joke at the ready.

The Retirement Is Off For Now

2007-03-30T03:55:00.000-07:00

A recent bulletin on myspace from myself explains it mostly:

Recently as some of you may be aware, I retired from stand-up comedy. Although during my retirement I continued to do shows, I was commited to the relationship with my retirement. That being said, I have some sad news.

Retirement and I have broken up. That's right, and it wasn't quite amicable either. Sure I get to go out and do shows, but in the settlement, retirement got half of my prison rape and roofie jokes. I do get visitation rights with the awkward thumb up my ass jokes on the weekends. If you love me at all, you won't bring this up.

I'm sure a lot of you are gloating right now thinking that you knew all along that it wouldn't work out, but sometimes a dude has to make his own mistakes. But I understand if you want to gloat about it and say "I told you so", so I'm letting you know right now that you can do just that.

So in order to say I told you so, swing by the Portland Comedy Connection on April 22nd, 26th, May 2nd (Portland's Funniest Professional Semi's), and May 13th when I'll be hosting, to tell me to my face that you told me so. It's just $6 most nights to rub it in my face.

Have a lovely day,
Rob

P.S. I thought of faxing that I was back like Michael Jordan, but figured the underwhelming response that would get would make it pretty anti-climactic. Plus most of you don't have fax machines.

I Need Help

2007-03-16T12:08:00.000-07:00

And no, I don't mean mental help, although I'm sure that would be appropriate. I basically need help trying to raise funds for the American Cancer Society. I know what you're thinking, Rob this blog is about comedy and foolishness. Be that as it may, if you've read my blog for any length of time, you know that the catalyst for my starting stand-up was based on my own mother's fight with cancer. She may not have made it through, but others can, with help.

Basically I've volunteered for the Relay For Life with my extended family in Rhode Island. I need to raise money through sponsorships, and could really use your help. I have friends that come through this site every now and then and see what I'm up to, and this is important. If you want to donate, that's great, the link will follow. If you know of someone that has been effected by cancer, you know how it can really put a hurt on those people and the families and friends that love them. If you don't want to donate, that's fine, but at least take a minute to either think of someone that might have gone through something like this, or think of how you'd feel if someone close to you had to go through something like this. I'm not trying to guilt anyone into donating, but I don't want you to take my request lightly. Please just give it some thought.

If you chose to donate, you can do so through this link:
http://www.acsevents.org/faf/donorReg/donorPledge.asp?ievent=206337&supId=167937936

Sorry to get heavy there, but make sure to swing through sometime soon for comedy updates. As you know I'm in the semi finals for Portland's Funniest Professional at the Portland Comedy Connection on May 2nd. Also I'm waiting to see about a couple of paying gigs I may be doing in April. If I do confirm those dates I'll certainly post to keep folks informed.

The Retirement Is In A Circle Pattern

2007-03-14T19:32:00.000-07:00

I just got back from round 1 or Portland's Funniest Professional, which many people said they couldn't make it to, and they'd catch me in the second round. Well, the bad news is, I didn't make the second round. The good news is, I shot right to the semi-finals. My next show will be on May 2nd, so if you're one of those people, you have plenty of time to plan if you really want to go.

The reason I shot right to the semi-finals, was because I came in first place tonight. Apparently I did good enough to win the heart of the judges tonight. The first place winners get a pass from round 2, and go right to the semi's. I have to be honest, I wasn't really stoked on my set. I thought it was fine, but definitely not my best. I thought other folks did a better job, but I am usually my own worst critic. I am pretty excited about the next round for me, I'll be going up against Tom Ryan. For those faithful readers of my blog, he was the assistant instructor when I was going through the class. He also helped me pop my first cherry outside of the class by doing that horrible show up in Lewiston at Confetti's. It'll be nice to do a show with him again, it's been awhile.

I thought the other comics did a great job tonight too. There were some folks I'd worked with up in Bangor before, Adam Hatch, Ryan Waning, and Sampson who seemed like they were well received my the Connection crowd. There was also the second place guy named Kevin who did a great job, I just didn't catch his last name. Also Paul Hunt came in third, but only gets to advance if myself or Kevin can't continue for some reason.

When they announced my name as the winner tonight, I stood up to to take a bow. The applause was so loud, and it felt so good. Tomorrow's my birthday, but today I got a gift. It's not something that you can package or sell, I felt good inside. For myself, with crippling low self esteem, it's hard to feel like that. All the while that I do stand up, I think about my mom and why I decided to do stand up. The applause was something I never thought I'd get. I knew I was funny and people would laugh and clap, but I never thought I'd get the applause that the last couple have shows have given me. If you were there for either of the last 2 shows and you were cheering, I just want to say thank you. It means a lot to me, more than you'll probably ever know.

That being said, there's a possibility of a couple more shows coming up next month. Timmy B was talking about a couple of paying gigs next month in the Portland area that he might put me on. I'd be crazy to pass up money for a 5 minute commute. So as I said, looks like the retirement is slightly delayed. But the May 2nd semi-finals is a go. Mark your calendars bitches.

Still Riding High

2007-02-18T10:32:00.000-08:00

I still feel great about my performance last week. It was the craziest set I've had, and it was so much fun. It's real hard to describe how great I felt after that show. It was great.

The reason for this post however is not to gloat about that last show, but to let you know that I got my date for Portland's Funniest Professional. It's on March 14th (the day before my birthday) and hopefully all will go well. I can't imagine that it'll go poorly. Once again, my goal isn't to win the competition, I just want a big crowd to go out on. I could almost just not do it based on how well my last show went, but I promised myself I'd finish out my shows.

I'm already missing doing shows. I only need to prepare for another 3-5 minutes of being funny for the competition, but already it feels like something is missing. We'll see if that continues, but I know I'll miss it. And I'll love that there's no more worrying or planning and then being disappointed because either nobody showed up or the crowd wasn't into my humor that night. But through it all, I made some great friends, have some great memories to hold onto, and can say I gave it a shot and often did great. No more mystery there. So hopefully I'll see some folks out at the Comedy Connection on March 14th at 8:00. Who knows, if I do well, there will be another date.

Wow! Just WOW!!!!

2007-02-12T03:14:00.000-08:00

I can't even believe the show last night. It was beyond my wildest dreams on a show to go out on. I wasn't alone either, there was something magical about what went down last night for Portland comedy.

I'm going to lay the groundwork for what happened. Linens-N-Things was having their Christmas party and decided to have it at the Connection. They pretty mush filled up almost 3/4 of the room alone. They were a young and rowdy bunch. None more rowdy than this flamboyant gay man named Nick that was heckling at the drop of a hat. He was interrupting everyone. There was also a group of young women stage right that were getting more and more drunk as the night went on. It was a recipe for disaster, but it was holding together enough up until my set which was the last for the night.

I was going to play my set straight, but sitting there and seeing how annoyed everyone was getting with Nick, I decided to play off that through my set. I made up a couple of jokes on the spot about Linens-N-Things that went over well. I asked if they had any regulars that came in and if they called them nicknames like Wet Spot. Nothing too crazy, but just enough to engage them. Then I went off.

It was one of those moments that Dustin likes to say, I verbally raped a heckler. Although, it went even further and more over the top than usual. Yes it was a verbal rape. Yes I left him a quivering mass on the floor, but I let him have both guns so hard it shut up the gayest man I've ever seen. Not a peep from him the rest of my set. And I was killing. I must've had about 6 applause breaks through this section. Even with the microphone, I couldn't get louder than the crowd.

Then when I was getting back to my jokes, trying to focus everyone in the room. The girls to stage right were chatting up a storm. I stopped mid-joke (The one that the punch line is "Legendary" in case you heard it, which was oddly appropriate) and turned to the girls and said. "Excuse me ladies. I don't mean to interrupt, but there's a skinny kid onstage telling some jokes. It's my last set ever, think you can hold off for a minute?". That went over pretty funny, but here's where the set climaxed, one of the girls grabs the front of her shirt like she's going to flash me, and screams "I love you!". I don't for a second believe she loved me, but i did believe she was really shitfaced, and pretty close to being coaxed into flashing her boobs. We went back and forth for a couple seconds, and within 15 seconds, she was flashing her chest. The room exploded. I was speechless. It was crazy.

Then when the room finally calmed down for what seemed forever, I said. "I had a couple more jokes I could tell, but honestly, there's no way I can top that. I just want to say thank you to everyone for making my last set great. I want to thank you if you came out to see me perform one last time, and I want to thank..." It was starting to sound like an Academy Awards speech, but it felt good. There wasn't just applause, there was hollering, applause, and a standing ovation that lasted all through the high fives and hugs the other comics gave me on the way out.

It was a night like no other, and will be hard to ever get that rush, or that feeling ever again. I'd never give it up for the world. It was one of my proudest moments, and sincerely thank anyone that I know that went to see it. I appreciate everything, and all the kudos last night and on myspace.

I know I've been referring to this as my last show, but there is Portland's Funniest coming up at the end of this month and the beginning of next. Once I get my date I'll post it here and myspace. Even if I won that, with the $1000 prize money, it'll never come close to how I felt last night. Thank you.

1 Down and 1 To Go!

2007-02-01T19:06:00.000-08:00

As far as next to last shows go, I had a pretty decent one. The host for the night was DJ Hazard, and my friends Tuck and Dustin were on tonight. DJ Hazard was a nice guy. He was friendly and just chatty enough between sets and did a great job keeping the energy up in the room. I had an eight minute set which went pretty well.

The crowd was into the show. Dustin had a great set, and so did Tuck. My set went pretty well too. I opened with a new joke that I hadn't written out about tax season. I thought of the premise earlier today and figured I'd give it a try. It was fairly clever and G Rated which isn't normally my style, but it struck me as cute so I gave it a shot. The rest of my set was fairly tame too. I kept away from "crotchular jokes" as Luke would put it. As a matter of fact, none of my jokes ended crotchular, I even changed some that normally would be into more tame versions. The only thing close was a vagina reference, but it was brief and not really graphic to that region, so I won't count it.

At first I was a little bummed to see that I only had 8 minutes, while my other friends had 10, but then I figured it's better to get me used to shorter time for the Portland's Funniest. Then again I don't really care about time and wasn't 100% sure I stuck to my time tonight. One more show left before the competition. The last scheduled show is February 11th.
Until then, make sure you wash behind your ears.

The House Was Packed..... Not Really.

2007-01-25T05:57:00.000-08:00

Last night was funny, but not really so much for the show itself. Club Gemini in Bangor is the room I liked doing before and last night was my last one there as I’m winding down. There were only 9 people in the audience and the comics. The employees of the club sat down and watched, I’m presuming so that it would look like people were there.

I went up second after Tuck Tucker, who had just got done working the room over about as well as was going to happen last night. I think I had a good set and felt good about it. I even got laughs throughout, even though as Luke pointed out all of my jokes were “crotchular”. Upon review only about 70% of them were, but it was an alarming amount, but that doesn’t change the fact that Luke’s a “Dowsch-bag!”. I ran a few new jokes and did probably about 17 minutes. It went pretty well except my closer ended of deaf ears. What are you going to do when there’s only single digit audience? Dustin went up next, and had a rough go of it, and then Sean Carr, and closed out by Luke. I think we were all disappointed that it was such a small and quiet crowd, but all-in-all it didn’t much matter.

The road trip up was pretty funny. The jokes and barbs were flying. Somehow we got on the kick of doing impressions of other local comics, and it all exploded when we started doing our Tuck Tucker impersonation. He seemed to be oblivious to the fact that he has a very distinct Indiana accent that sounds like a calmed down Shaggy from Scooby Doo. We laughed pretty much the whole time up and back and this morning my voice is horse due to lack of sleep and all the chuckles. On the way back however, Luke needed something to eat so we stopped at a 24 hour convenience store. There was a young girl working all by herself and it was just about midnight. Tuck kept asking her questions that were really sketchy. I’m not going to go into specifics on what he said, because it may or may not be incriminating, but he did ask her when he was at the check-out if she’d ever been robbed. It was exactly the wrong thing to say at the wrong time, but if I were in that girl’s shoes, I would’ve been a bit freaked out. I apologized for him and we went on our way without any police intervention.

The funniest part of the whole night for me was the moment when Tuck was onstage doing his set, and he started telling the joke we were doing on the ride up while we poked fun at him. “A Taco and a Neyap!”. It’s out of context right now, but when he was doing it onstage he was starting to crack up, which had the other comics rolling because we were in on it. The crowd was laughing pretty hard too, but it was obvious that they didn’t really know why. It was classic.

Two more scheduled shows coming up at the Portland Comedy Connection. Feb 1st, and I found out that Dustin’s on the bill that night too, as well as Feb 11th. Other than that, I’m still waiting to hear back on what date I get to do Portland’s Funniest, and then it will be done. Once again, thanks to all my regular blog readers, I hope it’s been fun to read up until now, there’s only a few more left.

And A Fun Time Was Had By All...

2007-01-18T03:31:00.000-08:00

First of all, let me put this out there, I made my payback goal for comedy last night. I had promised myself that I'd make back the money that I put into the workshop class, and now I have and with one more paying gig lined up, I'll actually turn a profit. 18 months or so later that is.

I have to say thanks to Luke. He wasn't feeling well and suggested me for the show last night. I gladly did it, and had a good time doing it. I told a few jokes throughout the night, but mostly kept it to playing with the audience and reading the trivia questions. You could get the impression that people wanted to get through the contest, but I did tell a few jokes in between. All in all it was a blast to do. The trivia topics covered 80's TV, music, movies, and George W Bush. For instance, were you aware that Vinnie Vincent from KISS was a music writer for Happy Days and Joanie Loves Chachi? Not many people do.

Now comes the sad part of this post. If you are a friend of mine from myspace, I've already sent a bulletin about this, but if you aren't here's the rub. I'm getting out of stand-up and hanging up my seltzer bottle. I'm going to finish out my dates and then do Portland's Funniest Professional Contest, and then that will be it. I'm not saying that if the urge strikes me, I won't pop up in a random open mic, but chances are, this will be the last couple of shows I'll do. It's been a blast, and being onstage has helped relieve some stress and take me away from my normal life while things have been heavy the past couple of years. With my mother passing away, and my father being diagnosed with cancer, it was a little place I could go and feel in control even if just for 5 to 20 minutes at a time. But I've made it through the worst of that for now, and don't have a clear goal of what I'd like from stand-up.

Here's some things I know I got out of stand-up. A tougher skin. I've always had very low self esteem, but being onstage and bombing a few times tends to toughen you up. Friends. I've met some amazing and funny people along the way. I'm not going to name them all, because I'd be afraid to miss someone. But if you were there with me onstage at Gemini, Acoustic Coffee, Slainte', Comedy Connection Portland/Boston, Binga's Wingas, Mr Goodbar, Spectator's, Maine Indoor Karting, or any of the other myriad of places where I've stood and bared my soul, you know I appreciate each and every one of you. Confidence. Stand-up is very honest. You can go out there with material that you've seen do really well, and bomb for your entire set. A couple nights later you can use the same material and kill, there's nothing like a retribution show. Dreams fulfilled. I never want to lose fact that the reason I wanted to do stan-up was because I love the art. I remember going to the Portland Comedy Connection several years ago to see Mike Birbiglia, and only about 7 people showed up. I sat right up front. I might have been the only person "getting him" that night and I laughed hysterically. He may have thought I was a psycho, but sometimes someone will say something that strikes you funny, and you'll never look at something the same way again. That's pretty powerful. Now I've worked those same stages, and had some of those same awkward moments with some audience members. I hope that if someone hears the phrase "You say tom-aye-to, I say Tom-ah-to" they'' finish it with "You say fajita and I'll say vagina". Then I know someone "got me".

It's not over yet though kids. There's 3 more scheduled dates, and obviously Portland's Funniest. Next show is next Wednesday in Bangor with 2 more Portland shows coming up next month on the Feb 1st and the 11th.

Breaking The Law

2007-01-07T05:34:00.000-08:00

Last night's show at Spectator's in Sanford was decent enough. I was up third, and as we all know, that's my lucky spot. I had carpooled up there with Dustin Beckleman and Heidi. One quick pit stop at Wendy's in Biddeford, where the bathroom was covered in a large amount of vomit, ans we were at the show shortly after that. Dustin and I decided to jockey for early slots because we didn't feel like hanging out much. He had #2 and I went third.

Dustin had a great set, and the crowd was into him from the start. he kept them the whole way. I figured I'd be golden to follow him, as our styles are complimentary. Except a funny thing happened before I hit the stage. Our host, Mark Morrison I believe his name was, was really taking the energy out of the crowd from the start. He has a very slow delivery, and he made so many molestation and rape jokes he made everyone feel awkward it seemed. He finished some material just before I hit the stage about his uncle giving him oral sex after applying Vicks Vapo-Rub all over it. When I hit the stage, the crowd for one was taken completely out of the show and disgusted, and i was a little off too. That was definitely not cool to bring me up like that.

My set started off tepid. I wasn't bombing, but I wasn't carrying the room like I thought i should have. My jokes were landing a little flat, but my delivery is quick, and I think it was a little awkward after the host's slow as crawling death delivery. About midway through my set though, things turned around. For some reason, people were getting into it, especially the table right in front of me. There was a thin tall guy who looked kind of like a military kid wearing a zip up white turtleneck sweater. I said I had a joke I'd like to tell everyone about advice. He was a little shitfaced and said "I need advice" and I replied, here's some good advice, "Lose that sweater". The crowd exploded. He was a good sport and fed me back. He said he'd been wearing his clothes for the last 48 hours, and I asked him how long his boyfriend was wearing them before he gave them to him. I mentioned to him that he looked like the only sperm swimming upstream in Sanford that night, because he was wearing the gayest sweater the town had ever seen. His mom was sitting across from him and piped up, "Hey, I bought him that sweater for Christmas". I said, "Here's some better advice, don't buy him anymore sweaters."

I even went into my hockey joke that normally doesn't do too well at that point and dedicated it to him, because it's a self deprecation joke that calls myself a faggot. It was what the crowd needed right at that moment, and it killed. Normally I wouldn't go that deep into a gay joke like that. I'm not homophobic at all, but you could get the vibe from the crowd that they were, so I gave them what they wanted.

So I pocketed the $20 we got paid for the gig ($60 left to hit goal) and we got back on the road. We chatted about how the evening went, and laughed. It was fun. I had to drive Dustin back to Portland, but when we hit South Portland, there were blue lights in the rear view. Now to pepper this story, I have a bit of a lead foot. I'm always speeding, not because I like the thrill of speed, but I drive whatever speed feels comfortable at the time generally. The cop that pulled me over asked if I had seen him, I said "No". He's said he was on the side of the road with his paring lights on, and he locked me doing 76 in a 55. Oops! I told him, I was sure that probably was the case, and that I wasn't paying enough attention to how fast I was going. I was going to go deep into a story that said He pulled us out of the car and slammed me on the hood etc, but he was really quick and cool about the whole thing. He ended up giving me a ticket, but only put on it that I was doing 65 in a 55. That makes my little infraction quite a bit less expensive. I'd only been pulled over once before about 13 years ago for running a red light, but that didn't stop my running of red light. We'll see if this slows me down from speeding.

No Salmonilla Here!

2007-01-05T03:47:00.000-08:00

Last night was another open mic at Bingas Wingas. The crowd was a little smaller, and the number of comics was as well. I guess last month's (which if you recall I didn't do a set because I didn't want to crush a good vibe) show went a little sour towards the end. That might have had something to do with it. Last night I took the bullet and went up first.

I had a pretty decent set. I kept it fairly short, maybe to about 7 minutes or so. All of my jokes hit and every punchline got a laugh. Maybe the laughs were not as loud as I would've liked, but they were laughs all the same. The crowd was a little tough to read on which way my jokes should've gone, but I think it was decent enough, and certainly not a bomb. I have recently got a cold, so my timing was a little off, and my energy was a little low. All in all, it felt pretty good.

Other comics didn't seem to be having the feedback that they were expecting either. It was one of those odd nights that comedy and restaurant didn't seem to want to mix, but I did leave a little early in the night, so it may have turned around. Perhaps Saturday night in Sanford at Spectator's will reveal the laughs I was hoping for, but probably not. I'll show up and tell my jokes, and we'll see what happens.

Thanks for coming through and reading this post, and just know this: Every time a retarded boy laughs, he pees his pants just a little. That's a little nugget of wisdom from me to you.

Sold-out show!

2006-12-29T03:46:00.000-08:00

What a great feeling. Last night's show was packed to the gills, and people were having a hard time finding seats. Kelly Macfarlane was the host, and she was very funny. I was supposed to have 10 minutes last night, but got cut down to 8. Have no fear, everyone ended up going over and I did 11 minutes.

I was scheduled to go up 3rd, which if you're one of my usual readers, is my favorite spot in any lineup. I got bumped though, ad George Hamm came in and did a set in my slot, so I had to follow him fresh off a hot set at the Merrill Auditorium with Bob Marley. The energy in the room was great last night. From the first moment Kelly hit the stage, all the way through the end, everyone was putting in the effort and it was a great night for comedy. While I was waiting to go onstage, it was hard to keep focused, because I was pretty wound up. It was kind of like the scene in 8 Mile when Eminem talking about "there's vomit on his sweater already, Mom's spaghetti", except I didn't throw up, but the energy was there and that's what that soliloquy was supposed to represent.

I opened with new material. Actually over half of my set was new to newer stuff and a lot of improv stuff too that was really working. My very first joke started out strong, but I tripped over my words towards the second half of it, and it started to die out. I saved it by stating that the previous joke was certified by waste management as a genuine turd. That saved the day. Everyone appreciated that I noticed it didn't go properly. Towards the end of my set, one guy blurted out that it was his birthday. Then a couple other people did. In short time about 6 people were saying that it was their birthday and how old they were. Before it got out of hand, I reigned in the audience by saying, "That's great, you all had birthdays, good for you. You know who else just had a birthday? Jesus. That's right, Jesus! And I bet you stingy pricks didn't even get him anything. You could've at least got Jesus a Dunkin Donuts gift card. Because Jesus is fueled on Dunkin". I'm not sure where I pulled that from, but it did kill. It was pretty sweet.

I stayed to the end of the show and waited for the crowd to clear. I had people come up and say they liked my stuff and one guy said he "really appreciated my routine". It sounded like I needed to be wearing an gymnastics unitard and dancing with a long ribbon on a stick, but it was still good to hear anyway.

Next scheduled show is January 6th at Spectator's in Sanford and then I believe on the 24th at Club Gemini in Bangor. Next Thursday is also open mic at Bingas Wingas, and where time is short this month, I'll probably do some time there as well. To my new readers in Portugal, thanks for visiting and the stuff on your site is really dirty. I'm not judging you, I'm just saying, it didn't seem like the donkey really appreciated wearing the running shorts you put on him.

I'm Not Disappointed

2006-12-20T03:56:00.000-08:00

Last night I went and did the open mic at Sierra. To say the crowd petered out after the second comic was an understatement. It actually looked like it might be a good crowd before it began, but that turned around quickly. Lucky for me (insert sarcastic sneer) I was up fourth.

By the time I hit the stage, most folks were no longer paying attention, except a couple of Nick Salve's friends and a couple heavy girls that looked like they came from USM. I got some laughs, but not like I'm used to. I thought my set was pretty good, but I can't be sure really anyone was listening. I'm pretty sure they weren't. If I had to drive a long distance for that show, I might have been upset, but I really didn't care. I felt like my set was pretty decent, but who really knows. One good thing is that my most recent change to my "Advice" joke went over even in a dead room, so that seems like it'll be a keeper.

There was a point where a show like last night would've eaten at me and I would lose sleep, literally. Not anymore. I've come to terms that not every crowd is the same, and there's things about comedy shows out of my control. I can't control the crowd, the temperature of the room, if the host is being an asshole, the crowd noise, shitty waitstaff, the only thing I can control is my jokes and how I tell them. I think given the situation, I did pretty well, but the crowd response wasn't there. Oh well, there's always the Connection on the 28th. I'm not gonna let it break my stride, I'm not gonna let it slow me down. Oh no, oh no, I got to keep on movin', Sorry, the 80's took me over for a minute there.

A Bit Of A Surprise

2006-12-14T08:18:00.000-08:00

It was another good night for me at Acoustic Coffee. I’m not really sure what’s going on, I have historically had bad luck at that room, but the last couple of times, I’ve been very relaxed and the crowd seems to have really enjoyed my sets. Last night was no different.

My set was fairly short. I had told my jokes to many of the same faces in the crowd before, so I wanted to use some new material. I only used 1 joke that I’ve told before, and one that I’ve been rewriting. Other than that, everything else was new. I had a few that I had in mind that I wanted to tell, but when I hit the stage and got into the flow of it, I forgot which ones I wanted to tell. I hadn’t written a set list. So I did what anybody would do in that situation, I made up a couple of jokes on the spot. It was funny to me because I knew that I hadn’t written them out, and oddly enough Dennis Fog told me one of the ones I told was a really good joke. It was strange, but kind of easy at the same time. Most of the jokes were potty humor, and I thought kind of "hackey", but they worked, so I can’t complain.

The funny thing about my set last night was that the crowd was extremely quiet before I got onstage. I already had it in my mind that they weren’t going to laugh at all. The first thing I did was grab the mic and go to pull it from the stand and the cable popped out of it. Nice. I didn’t let it phase me, and from joke 1 all the way through to the end, I had the entire crowd’s attention and laughter. The only thing that didn’t seem to work was a story I told about the crack addict in Toronto, but I was using that joke to stall for time. Knowing that the joke wasn’t working, I bailed on it and said something to the effect that that joke obviously wasn’t good because nobody was laughing. That got a good rise out of the crowd and I saved a shitty joke by calling it out for its lameness.

Next show for me will be another open mic in Gorham next Tuesday the 19th at Sierra. After that I have time at the Portland Comedy Connection on the 28th. Also there may be a trivia night that I’ll be hosting at Bingas Wingas, but I’ll have to wait to hear back from Timmy B on that one.

Not bad, could've been better.

2006-12-10T05:49:00.000-08:00

Last night's show was at the American Legion in Westbrook as a benefit for the Westbrook Cheerleaders. It was a crowd of about 40 or so people. I wasn't sure where the place was, so I planned it out on mapquest. My directions told me to take Rte 25 to Main St and then a right onto Dunn St. If you've ever been to Westbrook, just about every Rte is a Rt 25 of some sort. Rte 25 W, Rte 25 E, Rte 25, Rte 25 Business, etc. I did find it after a spell and the Dunn street sign was about 7 feet back from the road. I got lucky to see it.

Our payment for last night was a couple of free drinks. Miller light, I have to watch my girlish figure, and all the pizza we could eat. There was just about every pizza place in Westbrook that had donated pizza to the show. There were probably about 50 pizzas in total.

I was the first comic for the night. I did about 15 minutes I'd say with my jokes and playing with the crowd. They all laughed, but they sounded exactly how you would expect 40 people in an American Legion Hall to sound. I was expecting a bunch of drunk older cheerleader types living vicariously through their daughters, and I more or less saw just as many men as women, who seemed like they were dragged to the show by their wives because they needed to support the cheerleaders. So the response was good, but I was hoping for something better. Then again, I've gotten used to the fact that the first slot is always going to get less of a response than you anticipate. Folks aren't drunk yet, and haven't gotten into the flow of the show quite yet.

Brian Brenniger went on second, and he has a joke where he talks about a woman's taint. He got up on a bar stool and lifted his legs to point to the magical area, but when he did, he lost his balance and fell backward onto the floor. It was kind of scary for a second, because people didn't know if he was alright or not. This was just 20 minutes after he showed me a bruise he had gotten on his leg 2 nights previous that took over almost his entire lower leg. That's one reason I prefer stand-up straight to physical stand-up.

I left after Brian's set, this was when people were getting up to get more drinks and pizza ans went home. I was tired and this was the third comedy show I'd been to or went to see in as many days. At this point, my next "scheduled" comedy show is back at the Portland Comedy Connection on December 28th. I'll probably try and fill time in at Acoustic Coffee on the 12th, and maybe some time at Sierra's in Gorham on the 19th. If anything else pops up, I'll be sure to let you know. But it looks like a couple quiet weeks coming up, which will give me a chance to write more material.

Yippeee!!!!!

2006-12-08T03:33:00.000-08:00

I had a great set last night at the Comedy Connection. It went so well in fact, that I decided not to do a set at Bingas Wingas after, because I didn't want to risk having a less than stellar set and ruining my night.

I had 4 people show up to watch my show. Heidi, my friend Jeff Inman, and his friend Steve and his lady friend. Our MC for the night was a guy named Spanky. To be honest, whn I heard the name, I was pretty sure he was going to suck, and boy was I wrong. He had a strange energy to him that made it almost impossible not to watch him. He was awesome. I wouldn't mind going back this weekend to see him do his whole set.

I felt a little bad. One of the newer comics through the Connection was hanging out upstairs with me. He was talking about how he was going to suck the life out of the room. He had a very negative attitude about his set before he went up. It was starting to make me think I was going to do poorly as well. But I went head first into my set and bulled through it.

My set was supposed to be 10 minutes in total, so I put together a 10 minute set. When I got there, my set was trimmed down to 9 minutes. I ended up doing 12 and a half. I feel bad, I didn't think I went that far over. I'm pretty certain, that's going to bite me in the ass. We'll see. I did a good mix of new and old material. I'd say about 30% of my set was new. 60% was proven, and I did about 10% improv. The crowd was really into my set. One moment I had a joke that was going really well, and I could tell by the reaction of the crowd that they wanted to keep laughing but didn't know if the joke was going to continue. So I said, "Go ahead and applaud that joke. It's been certified by the gemological institute as a true gem". The crowd exploded after that. It was kind of cool. I did that type of thing a couple of times. I had a good number of applause breaks.

Last night was one of my better sets that I've done in my opinion. Not only was the crowd really into my humor last night. My timing and delivery was on and I had a lot of fun plying the crowd. I was bending them and moving the tempo of the set up and down at will. It was a great feeling. Teo things I wasn't fond of last night is that I went over on time and closed with a street joke, which I didn't need. My jokes were doing better tan the street joke last night. But the other thing is I had a group of people say that they were going to show up for the show and they didn't. I gave out three free passes worth 2 admissions each, and none of them showed up. I could've used those for the people that showed up, but that's how it seems to go.

Next show is Saturday night at 8:00 at the American Legion Hall in Westbrook. It's a benefit show for the Westbrook Cheerleaders. It sounds like it might be a great time. Until our next installment kiddies, make sure you eat your vegetables.

One For The Gipper!

2006-11-30T03:42:00.000-08:00

First things first, I had no intention of doing a set last night. I figured I'd go to Acoustic Coffee and support Dustin. I told him right off I was just there to hang and nor do a set. It was a quiet night, maybe 20 people total in the room of which more than half were comics. I was hanging outside with Dustin while Dennis Fogg was on. Unfortunately the crowd was pretty quiet. Dustin asked me to do a set. I said that I didn't have a set list ready. He said he just needed me to go on and boost the crowd, and I was starting to falter because I had a couple new jokes I wanted to try. Then Dustin looked at me and said, "Please. Can you do it for the Gipper?" So I did.

My set was very short. I told Dustin it would be. I ran either 4 or five jokes, and probably did just about 5 minutes at most. But it was a good set. I honestly didn't think that I'd get much of a reaction from the crowd, but they were there with me for the new material. I was kind of shocked. I worked a couple of rewrites as well. I'm glad I did it. It was a tough show for a number of comics because it was so quiet, but for the time I was there it was at least relaxed and fun. I guess maybe I was so at ease because I was thinking of it more like goofing around not doing time.

Next scheduled show is next week Thursday the 7th at the Comedy Connection in Portland. If time permits and the stars align, I'll put in some time at Bingas Wingas after as well. Two days later, I'll be working with Dennis Fogg on the 9th in Westbrook for the cheerleader benefit. I believe it's at the American Legion or something like that, but I'll update the blog once I know for sure.

Back In The Saddle

2006-11-27T12:38:00.000-08:00

It felt like putting on an old pair of shoes again last night. Lately I've been so busy doing benefit shows, and driving to Augusta etc to do shows, it felt nice to get back and do some time in Portland. My time was cut down to 6 minutes, but basically I haven't really paid too much attention to the time limits they set for the past few months anyway. I try and keep it fairly close, but if they tell me 6 minutes and I do 8 or 9 and I'm not bombing, I call that close enough. If the crowd is digging you, it's a silly club owner that slaps your hand. Last night, the crowd was digging me. I had no real dead spots, but a couple of the jokes got laughter that was kind of quiet. It might have had to do with this self-proclaimed pool champion in the crowd that kept talking through the show and could've been distracting folks, but maybe the jokes landed soft. I'm not really sure. But by and large, given the size of the room and the reaction I got, I'd say I did very well. One of the strongest sets of the night.

It was a Sunday night showcase, and it was definitely quiet. There were 16 or 17 people there and with the heat on, it was a paltry 38 degrees. One of the smallest rooms I've worked in awhile, but they were there to laugh. A couple guys didn't go over so well, which were the two just before I went up. Sometimes when the life is sucked out of the room like that, it's tough to win a crowd back over, but I got them pretty quickly. I ran a couple of newer jokes and a rewritten one and it went over pretty well. It was a younger crowd that would normally dig my stuff, so once I hit the stage I felt pretty comfortable. It was hard to sit there so long, as I was on last, and there is a little pressure to close the evening on a high note.

Bob Marley swung through and did a little over a half an hour I'd say. He had some new stuff, and ran a few jokes I'd heard before. At this point, I've probably worked as many shows with Bobby as any other local comic. It's good company to keep. Maybe some of his good luck and skill will rub off on me.

One thing I felt bad about was a one of my jokes and a personal story involving my girlfriend went over well, and they were funny, but she was there and was embarrassed. I know it kind of goes with the territory, but I felt bad anyhow. My girlfriend has been very supportive of me through this whole process, and I felt like a dick by saying something to put her on the spot. I'll rework the one joke so that it isn't directly pointed for future reference, because it is a great joke. It's fun, but can surely be generalized. The story was funny enough, but on the whole, not really worth saving and certainly not worth hurting feelings over.

Next "scheduled" show is on Thursday December 7th at the Portland Comedy Connection, possibly swinging by Bingas Wingas after to run some time there as well. I may try and do some time at Acoustic Coffee this Wednesday. Dustin Beckleman is hosting, and I'd like to see how he does with that. He's always been supportive of me and swung by the Connection when I have shows like last night, I can try my best to do the same for him. Another date at the Portland Comedy Connection on the 21st, and a possible Trivia Night/Game Show host gig at Bingas, but more on that if it comes to fruition. I also have a benefit show in Westbrook on December 9th for some Cheerleaders. Word on the street is I'll be telling jokes to drunken older women. My kind of crowd.

I'd like to take this opportunity to thank the regular folks that stop by and read my adventures on a regular basis. That goes for Mike, Amanda, and my friend Ping Pang from Korea. Hope you get your fingers back after that horrible firecracker incident. If anybody thinks the blog needs newer information, feel free to let me know. I'm always open to suggestions.

Telling Jokes In The Industrial Park

2006-11-24T20:06:00.000-08:00

Tonight was in Westbrook Maine at Victory Kart Racing. Not a bad show, or a great one either for that matter. It was okay. My set was fine, but generally my sets depend on a crowd that's enthusiastic to hear jokes and participate a little. This group was not a participation type of crowd.

I had a decent enough set and others did too. It would've been nicer if the crowd was more into it, but it was kind of like the crowd from the other day in Augusta. You take what you can get I suppose. I wasn't really feeling it, and a couple of the other comics weren't as well.

In the end, we ended up putting on a pretty good show, and Dennis Fogg was doing great to close the night. We each got paid in a prepaid $25 gas card for Exxon/Mobil. To me that's ironic, because my real job I sell gas cards, and tonight in my "fake" job I got paid in gas cards. The owner thanked us and was pleased with the turnout. All in all, even though my set didn't go as well as I wanted, it was a good show to be a part of. We were supposed to race before the show, but that didn't happen, but that's fine with me.

Next show is this Sunday at the Portland Comedy Connection. After that, for the time being, the next show is on December 7th at the Comedy Connection Portland, and then the American Legion Hall in Westbrook for a cheerleader benefit on the 9th.

Delia's in Augusta

2006-11-19T09:07:00.000-08:00

It was an odd one for sure. Not crazy odd, but I can't quite put my finger on how I felt about the show, although I'm leaning towards dissappointed. For the record, I'll say I had a pretty good set. Not great, but pretty good. And there was a huge crowd, but my disappointment is in how the whole thing was put together.

Delia's was a pretty good sized resturant/bar. If anybody reading this is a comic, or been to a show at a resturant/bar, I don't need to mention that these are a hard room to tell jokes in. We packed the place, and from what I was told, the 4 comics were going to be splitting the door, and if we brought in a good amount of people, supposedly the owners would pony up a tip on top of that for the comics. There were at least 200 people in the place, easily $1000 for the door alone, and there was a large amount of people that had to stand up. For all accounts and purposes, this place already was a success before it began, and according to what I was told (mind you it was third party from one of the other comics) I'm already expecting $250+ for my services. More on that later.

The event was put together by Reach For The Sky or Sky's The Limit Entertainment, run by Lisa Babb. She laid down some rules at the onset, that we shouldn't get on a pulpit for political humor, offensive humor, and above all we were not allowed to drink at the venue. These are all odd requests for comics, but I played the game. Although I did see her walking around all night with quite a few colorful concoctions myself. I was kind of turned off about it from that point forward, but my father and sister had shown up for the show, and nobody from my family had ever come to see me perform stand-up. I trudged through the night, and did okay. I would've like to have done better, but a lot of things were working against it.

Out "stage" setup was rickety at best. A 3' x 3" concoction of old speaker boxes, 2x4's, and some loose laminate on top. The P.A. system was rediculously quiet, and kept going in and out. But I championed through my set and got my laughs. I had mentioned that these types of places are hard to work, because in a dinner atmosphere, people like to chat with each other, and comedy does require folks to listen, to go as planned. I did mantain the attention of most of the audience for my entire set, but there was a group of drunken women in a horseshoe shaped couch system set-up around the stage. They were so loud it was difficult to hear myself and I had the P.A. and the mic. Later on Dan Frederickson may or may not have told them to "Shut the fuck up", several times. He had a rough set from beginning to end, and had to do 25 minutes. I felt bad for him, because he's a gifted comic, and this wasn't how his stuff usually goes off.

Paul Hunt had a good second half to his set and he had to kill 20 minutes. His first half was tough, because the crowd wasn't with him, but he pulled it together and closed strong. The closer for the evening was Brian Brenniger. He did about 30 to 35 minutes, and ripped it. He's very physical, and nothing seemed to be distracting him. I give him all the credit in the world for last night. He was truly there to tell jokes and he didn't care if people wanted to laugh or not, but they did. He ruled the room. Like I said, my set was good. I had laughs from beginning to end and few dead spots. I was up first, which is always the toughest slot to get, because the crowd usually hasn't drank enough, or gotten into a comedy flow. I did do a good job I think in setting the tempo and getting people focused and as I said before, got my laughs along the way.

Now the foolish part, getting paid. After the show, I went up to Lisa and asked if I could get paid for the night, and she said she was waiting for people to settle up. Normally this is something that gets done while the last comic is up, so that everyone can get paid and get out. Not so this evening. Not only did she start collecting late, most of the bar was full before she began collecting at the door. I was a bit testy at this point, because I still had to drive back to Portland, because in 8 hours I needed to be in Cape Elizabeth to run a 5K. She tried to have the wait staff add this to their bill if folks didn't pay at the door. It was pretty a piss poor and Mickey Mouse way to do things. I usually don't get paid to do most shows that I do, so it's not the money aspect of it, but this was an amature way to handle things at best. Fast forward 45 minutes or so later, and I'm handed $100 in $20's. Ummm.... granted I didn't attend MIT and I'm not the best mathematician, but based on what I saw, this was a slap in the face. No tip on top, and we made that bar a shitload of money for the night. I took my money and left before I spoke my true feelings at the time.

I'm sure stating that might burn a few bridges for me, but getting caught up in any operation that runs like that shouldn't propel you forward most of the time anyhow. Sorry Delia's and Reach For The Skylar, I can get other work, thanks.

So, as far as how my set went, I'm pleased with how it went, but a comedy room that full would've been a much more positive and different experience. As far as the whole experience went, I won't work for that bar, or that "entertainment group" again. That was a poor way to treat comics, and that was the reason the bar was full to begin with. I'd hate to see the bar profits, or what Lisa figured she was entitled to for putting the whole thing together, because I'm sure I'd be furious.

Normally I won't rant so angrily, but as I said at the onset of this blog, it's not just about the jokes, there's a lot of politics involved in the business. I feel like I was used, not a single thank you from Lisa or the bar owners for doing the show. Maybe a simple thank you would've saved my angry feelings, but who knows. Someones pockets got lined, and they weren't mine or the other comics.

A Blast Was Had By Many In Buxton

2006-11-12T03:53:00.000-08:00

I had my doubts as to what to expect out of the Buxton show last night. The ride up had some of those things that make you feel like you'll be making the piggy noises like in Deliverence. There was a woman in a wife beater heading towards a large pile of garbage holding a chainsaw while wearing a wife beater, 20 feet away from a house with a ton of wild turkeys running around on the front lawn, and a bag of discarded cookies in the middle of the road. Those ended up being red herrings, as it were, because Buxton was a blast, and my anus is still water tight.

There were six comics and a host last night, and I thought I was only going to need to do about 6 or 7 minutes, but Ro had us all do 10 to 12. I was a little thrown at first, because I didn't bring my notebook of jokes. I have plenty of material to take up that much time and then some, but when I get excited I have a hard time remembering things. I wrote down about 7 jokes and decided to wing it. I've been doing that a lot more lately anyhow. I've been interacting with the crowd much more than I did in the past, so I do less jokes and more improv. It seems to be working. My crowd reaction seems to be getting more intense. It doesn't seem like I'm reciting as much either. It's becoming more conversational. Last night, I ran the gamut between 8 and 80. I asked an 8 year old boy if he knew how to spell pussy, and I called an 80 year old woman a whore. It was pretty hilarious in my opinion. Out of context that makes me sound like a complete monster, but within the flow of the show, it was acceptable. It was just a matter of creating a situation where calling an 80 year old woman a whore without making it forced takes a little work. I had a really good set. A couple of the other comics said I killed or destroyed, but in my heart I'm pretty certain it was just a really good set. I know I can do better, and I will. But what do I know, I just keep plodding ahead hoping to get some laughs. I'm never quite fully satisfied.

Before my set, Dennis Fogg said that he'd been hearing that I was one of the hot comics lately. I'm not really sure if that's true, but I have had a string of good shows lately, It feels good. He mentioned something about another benefit show he's like me to do in South Portland as a cheerleader benefit. He said he'd get back to me on that, and that's cool. Also Chuck Sanborn wants me to do a show at the Maine Indoor Cart Racing the day after Thanksgiving. That should be a blast as well. Other things are in the works that I'm not at liberty to discuss right now, but once I can, I'll be sure to include them. Exciting things are happening and my dance card is filling up.

A Successful Two-fer

2006-11-10T03:45:00.000-08:00

Last night was a blast. I had two shows last night, and both of them went well. I'll break it down for you.

The first show was at 8:30 at the Portland Comedy Connection. I got to open the show. Somehow somewhere, people decided they wanted to get out and laugh. I'd say the Connection was probably 3/4 full. It was nice to see. I opened the show, and did very well. The crowd warmed up quickly. At some points I was killing, but a couple of my jokes fell flat. It was kind of an older crowd, so I was kind of sure one of my cancer jokes wasn't going to go over that well. And I was right. Several applause breaks and lots of crowd interaction. The host was Tom Hayes, who was pretty funny. I like his stuff. It was a really great show to do, and the beginning set a tempo that this show would play like a professional show as opposed to a Showcase Show. I thought I did so well, I almost didn't go to Bingas Wingas, because I didn't want to ruin the good vibe. Good thing I did go.

Bingas started at 10:00, and I was sixth on the list. Funny thing was, there were 3 different people on the sixth slot. We figured it out. It was a loud room to do a show, but the crowd was into it. I had a great time, and I think it showed with my performance. The Connection show may have been stronger all around, but I had a few shining moments at Bingas that definitely carved a notch out that said I was there. It was great because there were so many comics there, and a bunch from the Liquid Blue/Acoustic Coffee crowd that I hadn't seen in awhile. It was good to catch up with them and see some other folks that I hadn't really talked to in awhile. There were a couple of jokes I used that I'm pretty cautious about, but for some reason, there was a big payoff last night. I have to push the envelope sometimes, and rooms that Timmy B! open up seem to lend themselves to that.

I'm pretty tired this morning, I was charged up and it took me a long time to fall asleep. Next show is Saturday the 11th in Buxton at The Roost. A few comics were saying last night what a great time that is. Also Friday the 24th is tentative at Maine Indoor Carting in Westbrook. Come out and hear some jokes, it really can be fun.

Beantown Baby!

2006-11-07T03:56:00.000-08:00

Last night was the Faneuil Hall Comedy Connection show. It's a nice big club, and they run the showcase very smoothly. There wasn't too much time in between acts, and most of the folks stuck to their time. It was a bit refreshing. It was also a nice show to do.

The day before the show, I was contacted by two of the people that said they were going to go. Turns out they were just lying whores who deserve to eat shit, but I won't hold that against them. I'm only playing, I probably will hold it against them. It gave me a chance to carpool with my pals Mike and Bandit, and my lovely lady. It was just like any other trip to Boston with my favorite road travelers, except I had to tell jokes at a club.

I was on second. The first guy's set was a little odd, but he made it through. My set went well, even though I was thrown at first because Kevin Knox mispronounced my last name, and that will get in a comic's head. I went through the set I had planned, and threw a couple extras in there too just for good measure. My set went over well, but not great. It felt good enough that I didn't feel guilty people came in to see me and I felt they got a few laughs. The last time both Mike and Bandit went to see me was way back last year (almost to the day) in Lewiston where I had one of my worst experiences. It was nice to kind of redeem myself.

The other comics all had good to great sets. Timmy Brochou had a really good set, which was nice for him because it was his birthday. I'm not going to go too much into the material I had done last night, because I'm planning on posting it to myspace in the next couple of days. You can see it all for yourself and let me know if you want to.

The drive home was nice. We all seemed to have a good time, and we had the White Stripes Under Blackpool Lights blasting. I got the Baja up to the century mark a couple of times, and I was home and asleep before midnight. All in all I'd say it was a success. 3 more shows this week. This Thursday at the Comedy Connection, with the Bingas Wingas show on Portland street right after. Then to The Roost in Buxton on Saturday afternoon for a benefit show to raise money for the Bonney Eagle Robotics Club. Nerds have to buy legos I guess.

Well..... There It Is.

2006-10-30T03:41:00.000-08:00

My 1 year anniversary came and went with no fanfare whatsoever. The crowd was a dud, my set was fine, but the crowd wasn't really the type to appreciate my brand of humor. It wasn't a bomb, but it wasn't a success. All things considered, I'd be better off if it'd never happened.

Last night's show was at the Comedy Connection in Portland. Lately they've been having an issue of sorts getting any people into the seats for Showcase shows. It's crowds are a lot like an open mic with no advertising lately. It's kind of sad. Aside from two weeks ago, I haven't been looking forward to doing the Connection shows. When I was starting out, I couldn't wait to do that room, but it's become quiet and the crowds seem less interested.

I won't lie, it bothered me that the show went over so poorly. I thought maybe I'd be able to look at last night, and where I was a year ago, and I was let down. I know I've grown as a comic, but if there's nobody in the forest to hear the tree fall....

I have a few more shows lined up, but I might stop pushing for time at the Portland Comedy Connection for awhile. I think I just don't appreciate it, and somebody else might still want the time there. I have a number of shows booked up through January, nothing for December, but November and January. I think I might let the shows run through and see where I stand. I had a goal when I started to do this for a year, and this will be going over a little bit.

The only goals I have left is to play Boston, which will happen next week, and then 1 more run at the Portland's Funniest Contest. I don't care to win, but the crowd was so good last year, I'd love one more time in front of them.

I Had Fun In Bangor

2006-10-26T07:26:00.000-07:00

I never thought I’d say that, but what a blast. Bangor was a fun road trip with some fun dudes, and I think we represented Portland comedy really well last night. Myself, Timmy B!, Dustin Beckleman, and his pal Billy all piled into Timmy’s Tracker and hit the 95’s all the way to the town with the Paul Bunyan statue. On the ride up, we were listening to What The Hell Happened To Me by Adam Sandler, and when we went through the toll booth, I yelled out loudly with the CD “I got a snake mang!” which was really funny to us in the car, but I’m assuming the toll lady was less than impressed.

I’d never been to Bangor before, and quite honestly I figured it’d be a little like that scene from Deliverance where someone gets to make piggie noises. First impression of Bangor wasn’t far off. We were a little road weary from the drive and wanted to find a place to stop and eat or something. Almost the entire town seemed shut down like Children of the Corn (obligatory Stephen King reference there) at 6:00 at night. Very strange, but we did find a pub called Main Street Tavern. This place was a little sketchy; the barmaid was an older woman with prison tattoos up and down her arms, but a smile that could melt a convict’s heart, not really. We ordered from the menu, which she said “All items are either made in the toaster over or the microwave”. I ordered the Cheeseburger $3.50, and Dustin ordered the Jumbo Cheeseburger which she said was the same thing. I asked her if I could change my order to the jumbo then, seeing as it was the same price. She looked at me like I just stole her last prison cigarette. Good stuff. They had pickled eggs and Slim Jims on their menu, very classy.

We also befriended a fellow named Hawkeyes (his nickname, not ours) who had been coming to that tavern for over 17 years. No shit! He was quite braggadocios about the several women he had scattered around town for his carnal desires, to which my reply of “With a good supply of roofies, duct tape and a halfway decent hunting shack, who wouldn’t?” kind of fell on deaf ears. I guess it would of meant more if his friend Hawk-ears had been with him. Enough of the local culture, on to the Club.

Once we arrived we met the owners of Club Gemini, real nice guys. They directed us back to the VIP lounge. Now that was really nice. I was surprised how such a nice club existed in Bangor, and the VIP lounge was a treatment I hadn’t been afforded before as a comic. The host Randy showed up a little later on and we talked about the order of the night and went on from there.

We all had good sets, and I dare say I had a really good set. I did about 15-17 minutes at the start, and then later we did a comedy campfire where I added a few new jokes as well. All of the Portland guys did really well and represented Portland comedy in a positive light I believe. There seemed to be no empty seats around the stage, and the crowd was there to hear some comedy. The show went until just about 11:30 and I had my head rested in my bed at home just under 2:30 AM. A long night, but it was well worth it.

Great crowd, great club, great time, not such a good cheeseburger form the Maine Street Tavern, but don’t tell Hawkeyes, I think he likes their burgers.

Was It Worth It?

2006-10-18T02:15:00.000-07:00

Not really. Last night's show was kind of weak. It was Sierra in Gorham, and once again the crowd was very thin. At least last month the crowd wanted to listen, but last night was regulars that wanted to drink and seemed less inclined to laugh. Those shows are tough. I think I had a pretty decent set, but who knows.

I don't want to give the impression that the crowd didn't laugh at all, but to get them to that point was way more work than I really wanted to put in. It seemed that some stuff that worked for a few people, didn't work for others and vice versa. It was like the polar opposite crowd from last Thursday where comics could almost do no wrong. I don't care that the "joint wasn't rocking" last night. I was just out running material and that was that. It'd just be nice to know if your material was working so that if it was, you can use it on a more appreciative crowd in the future.

I was going to go to Acoustic Coffee tonight, but I just don't feel like going through the same type of show 2 days in a row, so I might blow it off. We'll see, I can never make up my mind to not do a show. If not, next week Wednesday is my next scheduled show, a paying gig in Bangor at Club Gemini. I've heard good things about that club, so we'll give it a shot.

The Inmates Were Running The Asylum

2006-10-13T02:52:00.000-07:00

If you weren't there for it, it's hard to explain. Last night's lineup was insane for a Showcase night. Myself, Timmy B!, Joe Ricchio, Tuck Tucker, and Rich Pickford were all in the lineup for the showcase comics. Everyone did a minimum of 8 minutes, and not a single set was bad. I've never seen that many comics in one night and everyone was killing. But that's not even the full story. For your measly $6 last night, you got some of Portland's best up and coming comics, but we had 3 headliner comics as well. Bob Marley, Jimy Dunn, and Kenny "The Viper" Rogerson. Our host for the show was this weekend's feature Jon Lincoln.

Bobby started the show and I got to follow him. I've done it before, so I wasn't too concerned. He got the crowd up really quickly, I just had to make sure I didn't lose them. And I didn't. Last night I could feel my timing was really on and my jokes were ripping it up. My new stuff and my old stuff I reworked a bit didn't let me or the crowd down in the least. It was awesome. People were coming up to me in between sets saying how funny I was, and those were people I didn't know. I did call one girl out during my set that had huge titties and was obviously a stripper. It was obvious by her outfit, that she wanted everyone to notice them. I made sure they did. The crowd was all feeling the same thing and my set had to stop for a second so everyone could catch their breath. It felt so great.

I stayed through almost all of the show to watch all of the other showcase comics. It was hard not to. Everyone was running new material and the crowd was ours from the beginning to the end. It was our room last night, and the feature and headliners had to gain control back after us, which is normally the other way around. It felt good.

Before the show began, I was talking to Jon Lincoln about the lineup, because all of the comics were excited about it. I let him know that it might get a little randy with the comics scheduled, and he was thrown off a little because he said he's a clean comic. But by the end of the night, he was saying "vagina-face and fuck" just like the rest of us.

It was soo much fun, perhaps one of my best sets ever and the best show I've ever been a part of. I was proud to be a part of that show. If I were building my dream show for local comics, I would've had Luke and Dustin Beckelman on the lineup as well, but like I said before, I've never seen such a potent lineup for a showcase night. I want to thank the crowd and the other comics for such a great time.

More upcoming shows are next Tuesday the 17th at Sierra's in Gorham, and the 18th at Acoustic Coffee on Danforth St in Portland. After that, my next scheduled shows are Sunday October 29th (my official 1 year show for doing stand-up) and the week after in Bostons Fanieul Hall Comedy Connection on Monday November 6th (I'll be working alongside Timmy B once again).

Electric Coffee??? No! Acoustic Coffee!!!!

2006-10-05T03:02:00.000-07:00

I hadn't done this open mic for quite awhile. Last night was a blast. I had a raging set, more on that in a minute, and got to hang with some funny people.

I thought for sure as soon as my set began, I was going to have a terrible set, because I took the mic out of the stand and the chord came unplugged. I recovered and ripped through a lot of new material. Only one joke didn't work, but in retrospect, the timing of it and the build-up prior to kind of cut it off at the knees. My best moments were improv last night though. Most importantly with Nick's (one of the other comics) mother's vagina. The fact was that he had brought half of the audience, and I wanted to address them during the set and keep them into the show. One thing led to another and we went back and forth regarding her holiest of holies and the topics of racism and rip chord safety leashes in regards to her stuff. It was classic.

A lot of the comedy was dead on last night and the crowd reacted to most of it very well. The tempo of the show was working great, and Seth Bond Perry did an excellent job keeping things moving. It was definitely worth the commute from South Portland to Portland for the show, and I'll probably come back and do it again in a couple of weeks.

Next scheduled show is next week Thursday the 12th at the Portland Comedy Connection. Also I'm there on the 29th (my 1 year anniversary of doing stand-up, maybe someone will bring a cake). After that, the next show I have is on November 6th in Boston's Comedy Connection. Keep your eyes peeled at the open mics too, that's where I tell jokes that don't work sometimes and bail on them early because I will tell them before finishing them, because I'm silly like that.

The Final Curtain

2006-09-29T02:27:00.000-07:00

Not me, but Slainte'. At least how we know it. Last night was the last night for a great room. It's going to be under new ownership and Timmy B will no longer host the room. There's a possibility that they may keep hosting it once a month, and my name has come up a couple of times as someone that could host it. I'm not sure, all I know is, last night was a good night.

People were in the mood to laugh. Nobody had a bad set, and it was easy to tell new jokes. Towards the beginning, there were just us comics and later on, more people filed in. I didn't take the bullet last night, I decided to wait. My set was mostly new stuff. Some worked, some could've done better, but it was a good set all around. I did probably about 10 minutes in all. I threw in some old stuff, even my wine tasting turned rape joke, which I love, and was told by my fiance that it should never see the light of day. Well it's worked every time now, so I guess we know which of us is the comedian.

There were a good number of people doing physical humor last night, and Timmy himself had a great bit about imaginary pets. My stuff wasn't physical, but I'm still perplexed about a joke I find funny that isn't shaping up. Perhaps because it makes fun of Christopher Reeve and it's rather scathing. People sure are touchy about him it seems. My intro portions of a couple of my jokes did very well, so I think if I reworked them and came back at a different angle, I should be able to get something juicy out of them.

A couple of the regulars weren't there, and I'm sure they'll be sad when they find out it's done and the last night went well. Slainte' has been very kind to host us and provide free drinks all year long. It's the room where Joe Ricchio was king and we all hung on his every word until he mimed fucking Jesus in the ass. It's the room where comedy campfire would happen to keep the jokes popping from comic to comic. It's the room where many of us found our voice and always had time for us to do a set, no matter the situation. It's the room that was brutally honest about jokes that had a shot and ones that needed sod tossed over the top of them. And it's the room that any comic who went and had a good set could leave saying, "What a great room. I'll definitely come back." I'm going to miss the room, because the patrons generally were the type of audience that appreciated my sense of humor. It was the open mic room where I've always felt most comfortable.

Thank you Slainte', and than you TimmyB!

Blame Canada!

2006-09-27T09:34:00.000-07:00

As mentioned before. I’ve decided to do a post about my trip to Toronto if anything funny should happen, and believe you me it was a blast. Myself, Mike, and Bandit (Paul) hit the highway for 12 hours each way for fun and frivolity.

My very first practical joke didn’t work out as planned, but was funny all the same. We were leaving my house in South Portland at 3:00 in the morning. I decided that as a prank, for breakfast I’d eat a whole can on baked beans, and munch on sugar free vitamin C drops for the 12 hour ride. Both of which make me especially gassy. I also sprayed myself with half a can of Old Spice body spray to try my best to be the most fragrant traveler ever. Fast forward to 3 hours later in Springfield MA where I am in the grimiest bathroom of a Dunkin Donuts ever, exploding over the toilet. Then fast forward 3 and a half minutes forward to the same bathroom where I explode again, and start to regret the beans and cough drops. I might have regretted it the first time, but figured one blow out might be okay, but now I’ve settled into a pattern with well more than 9 hours left to travel. Apparently it would become obvious to me later that I actually had a cold that would help in the distribution of fluid business for the next few days anyhow.

Fast forward to Buffalo New York, who needs to buy a muffler? Everywhere there were muffler shops. I was looking forward to stopping in Buffalo to have some wings from the town that made them famous. We got a little turned around, and ended up eating at some place called Ying’s Wings and Things, which I’m fairly certain was a tax shelter for the mob, as our waitress knew nothing about the food they served. Whenever I go to a new place, I like to try their local beer. I asked what their darkest local beer was, and the waitress’ reply was “Guinness?” I had ginger ale instead. The wings were good, I didn’t have to poop, but Mike took a picture of Bandit over the stall just prior to him flushing an epic turd. We all had a good laugh at that, and me sucking the juice of the wings off my fingers. Buffalo seemed like an armpit of a town.

Once we were in Niagra Falls, Mike and I played a different version of air hockey. I grew up with an air hockey table and it’s one of my hidden talents. Nobody ever beats me. This was a new style though. It was called Boomerang and it was “V” shaped and you played right next to your opponent. I think I ended up winning 7-3. Mike took a picture of the back of his Bandit’s neck while he wasn’t looking, and it looked like a pack of sausages. The falls were pretty impressive, but we had a destination, so I took another poop and we were off.

Toronto itself feels like a young city. The layout is a lot like Downtown Chicago, with all of the glitz of Times Square. Bordering neighborhoods where the kitschy shops are feel like the “U” District of Seattle. It’s neat, but they sure love Tim Horton’s. How many donuts do people really need? There’s a lot of homeless people in the city, and we saw a rather disturbing sight Saturday night. A Chinese man was “cracked-out” in the middle of Yongue Street. That’s a major downtown street in Toronto. He was sitting Indian style in the middle of the sidewalk with his nose running, tears flowing, foaming up all over himself in the middle of the rain. It hit me in the gut pretty hard. It wasn’t a pretty sight.

We also had breakfast at a place called Over Easy I believe. Ramrod must’ve been feeling silly because he got a chocolate waffle the size of his head. I thought it was funny, because it really looked exactly like something out of a scat video or something and he was wolfing it down.

The Red Sox game was cool; it was a good game even though they lost again. Getty Lee was in the stadium right behind home plate, and the crowd went bananas when they showed him on the big screen. The pitcher was Hansack, who was the same guy I had seen pitch in Portland the week before. Ironic I had to travel so far to see him play again. There were tons of Red Sox fans at the game, and lots of sign from places like Fall River MA.

There’s a lot of hockey stuff in Toronto, and it felt weird to be there. Sports that are important to us mean nothing to them and vice versa. I know nothing about hockey, and they seem to care nothing about baseball. I do care about Coffee Crisps however, which is one of their candy bars we can’t get here. We must’ve eaten enough to feed a small village in those things alone.

On our trip home, we were stopped at the border and pulled from the car. We had to wait in the office with a lot of men name Muhammad etc etc. It was pretty nerve wracking, as I couldn’t think of anything that we might have done that would’ve gotten us handpicked out of those thousands of vehicles to get searched. It made me regret thinking that if we got stopped, I was going to tell an officer that Bandit had balloons of heroin in his butt, but seriously, these cops weren’t “fucking around” as they say. It was all business. Fast forward about 10 hours later, I was back home safe and sound at home with my fiancé, and I took a big poop and went to bed.
Looking forward to next year when we go on another trip. It’s always a blast hanging with the boys.

Sierra Mist!

2006-09-20T02:43:00.000-07:00

Last night at Sierra's was fun. It was the first time I had worked that room, and I had a pretty great set. Some new stuff and old stuff happened last night, I went without a set list. The only problem was, not too many people were there to see it.

Aside from the comics that were there, at any given point there would've been about 5 people in there max. Too bad for that, the room is set up really nice, I'll definitely go back again next month if I can. The comics that were there, were all supportive and had fun. It seemed like egos were checked at the door. That's always nice. After a few minues, nobody seemed to care that there wasn't an audience.

I was impressed with our host Dennis Fogg. I had worked with him before, but he was hosting last night. He had so much material, it was silly. Aside from Dennis, there was a new guy named Nick Salovos (?) sorry I'm bad with names, myself, Seth Bond Perry, Chuck Sanborn, and Tammy Pooler. I feel like I'm forgetting someone, but it was all good. It was a nice mix of Comedy Connection, Acoustic Coffee people and Liquid Blue folks in a neutral room. There was a different air to it for sure.

For some reason my Supercuts bit worked really well for me last night. Tammy Pooler said it was one of the funniest things she'd heard in a long time. I think it's a funny bit, but I don't generally think of it as that strong, but for some reason last night was it's night to shine.

When my set was done, I decided I wanted something sweet to drink, and I asked for a Sprite. Normally when you ask for a Sprite and they don't have it, they say "7 Up okay?". Not last night, the bartender Matt said "Sierra Mist okay?". I said sure as the taste of irony crossed my lips. Just a little cocky that a place called Sierra's doesn't serve Sprite or 7Up, only Sierra Mist.

Nothing scheduled for shows until October 12th, but I'll probably work Slainte next week Thursday the 28th. But, as the post begins with a picture of the road, I'll be hitting it with my friends Mike and Bandit to Toronto this Friday morning. It's going to be fun, and as I mentioned before, I may make a post about it, because I'm pretty certain something funny will happen.
OH NO I DIDN"T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I Feel Poorly

2006-09-15T02:49:00.000-07:00

I have to be honest, I dread writing this post. My set last night was bad. I got a few laughs, not a bomb, but it might as well have been. From the word jump, I knew it wasn't going to go well.

My energy was really low when I got onstage, and I felt distant. It might have had something to do with the host, referring to the comics last night as a meal and I was introduced as the salad. He did a fine job of making the crowd laugh, but from what I could see, he was cutting the showcase comics, myself included, off at the knees. Phrases like, "There's the emergency exit right there in case the next comic really sucks..." etc etc. I know that's an excuse, and I'm not blaming him directly, I'm just painting the picture.

My jokes weren't hitting the crowd very well. A couple of them went over okay, but I literally had a couple that got no response at all. It was grim. I tried to mix up styles while onstage and deviated from my set list. Jokes that had killed before were getting a limp chuckle. They weren't into me, and I wasn't into them. It was just a hair better than the OOB show I did a couple of months back.

When my set was over, I thanked the crowd, and the host was nowhere to be seen. I was hung up there to dry. What a horrible feeling. He should've been in or near the room to take the stage back, but instead he was off jerking around not paying attention. He's done it before when I worked with him, but at least I plowed through the set and had a good set last time, so the moment wasn't quite as awkward. Last night it sucked.

Comedy is finnicky. There's nothing quite like the feeling of being on stage and people are feeling you. It's one of the greatest feelings in the world. There's a strange connection and magic to it. When it goes south, like last night, it's just as instense of a feeling except, it feels that bad. It's tough to go through. Anybody that knows me closely, knows I have poor self esteem, and have been through bouts of depression. It makes the tough nights especially tough. It doesn't matter how many great nights I have, a bad one will stay with me and mean more than 1000 great nights.

When I took my dog for a walk this morning at 5:00, the thought that kept popping into my head was "I haven't learned anything from last night's set". That's something I've always found is that I learn something from every show. I'm full of self doubt and I'm real angry about how my set went down last night. I'm mostly angry at myself for not doing a good job. I wonder if all the stress and work to write new jokes is worth a night like last night. Tune in next time and see.

My next show is on Tuesday of next week at Sierra's in Gorham at 8:00. Other than that, I have October 12th, the 29th, and the previously mentioned Boston Comedy Connection on November 6th.

A Quick Update

2006-09-10T08:26:00.000-07:00

I just thought I'd throw this post out there, so people didn't think I "fell off". I haven't done any shows for almost 2 weeks. I was thinking of doing Acoustic Coffee last week, but decided to let it go. I've basically been enjoying the very end of summer. No fooling, I kept pretty busy all summer and forgot to smell the roses.

So for the past couple weeks, I've been going to the movies, catching plenty of Sea Dogs and Red Sox games, and as you can see above, I met Bruce Campbell. He seems really cool. It's been a fun couple of weeks, and I'm kind of glad I stepped away from stand-up to refresh.

I have a "booze cruise" Monday with the comics and employees of the Portland Comedy Connection. After that, I finally have a show on Thursday at the Connection as well. I may try and swing out to Slainte after, but probably not. Aside from that, I don't have anything else scheduled, but the 19th of next week, I plan on finally attending Sierra in Gorham to give it a shot. I keep forgetting to give it a try, and now I have plenty of time.

I've been writing and reading books on stand-up for a couple of weeks too, I'm hoping it'll help me with structure, but it makes the writing process that much easier.

I have a long weekend trip coming up in 2 weeks to Toronto with my pals mike and his Brother we call Bandit. I may even put a post in here about that, but where this is a comedy blog that would seem weird. If something "stand-uppish" happens, I'll let you know.

And in closing, let's all keep our calendars clear for Monday November 7th. Comedy Connection Boston here I come! Be there or be a geometrical shape with equal 90 degree angles at all four corners with matching length and widths.

A Tree Seems To Have Fallen In Portland...

2006-08-31T19:46:00.000-07:00

... and nobody seems to have heard it.

The crowds have been getting smaller and smaller at Slainte' the past few times. It isn't promoted very much so it seems to be running out of steam. It's too bad, because it's a fun room to do. Tonight there were 3 audience members, and about 9 comics.

I think my set went well. I used mostly new material, just to mix it up, but the jokes weren't fully flushed, but there is some stuff to work out. It's hard to tell how it went really, it was so quiet. Some of the guys basically went up and wrung out some new stuff, but it was an otherwise unproductive and awkward night. I don't feel bad though, I like the stuff I did and feel like it's a good lead in for other stuff.

The highlight of the evening came well after my set when I tried to leave. If anybody reading this is familiar with my posts, I talked about this drunk black woman that looked like a cross dressing Wesley Snipes that told me I needed to make sweet love to her. Well guess what? She showed up outside tonight. There were a few of us outside when she came so I felt a little safer that she wouldn't molest me, but boy was it a treat to talk to her. She was so drunk and she would go on these really long rants that were completely disjointed. The only theme that kept popping up is she'd go "Whoop there it is!" every now and then, but not really in a conversation break. It was a little like bad radio hip hop tourrettes. She said she was going to go wake her friend up and give her some uppers and have her come down and show us her titties. After she walked away to get her friend, I decided that was a good time to leave.

Next scheduled show is on September 14th at the Comedy Connection in Portland. I may hold off on the open mikes for awhile, I could use the break and refine my jokes I have right now. Big news though is I have a set coming up in Boston in November. It's November 6th at the Comedy Connection in Fanieul Hall and I'm supposed to convince at least 10 people to go see me. So if you're interested, that's the place to be that night, let me know.

I Can Really Set 12 People On Fire

2006-08-23T02:38:00.000-07:00

That's what it felt like. I had a pretty fun set last night. Mostly I was working on delivery, working in and out of playing with the crowd and digging back into jokes. It was fun. I still have plenty of work to do to get better, but it was nice.

I ran a couple of my newer jokes that seemed to do well. I'm trying to run stuff that isn't too "dirty" and kind of rides the fence so that depending on the reaction of the crowd, I can push it one way or another. I also ran a joke that I had thought of before leaving the house, but hadn't really written out. It worked, but not as well as I hoped. Of course I can write it out and flush what I need from it, it should be good.

Tuck hosted last night, and he did a great job. He was in the zone where I don't think he could've done anything wrong. The crowd seemed a little confused at first, not really sure which direction the show would be going in. I think during my set, they seemed to relax, and took everything in after that. Some material I'd seen some of the comics do in the past which nose dove... dived... diven, worked well for them. The energy surely stayed in the room.

Tuck, Luke, and I all said at the end of the show that we thought it was a great show, even if there were less than 20 people in the room. It was cool to pull that off.

Now comes the sad part. No shows at the Connection until the 14th of September. I'll be working open mikes until then and after to make up the time. Not tonight at Acoustic though, I could use a break. It's been a long week and I need to rest my weary bones. This will give me an opportunity to write all new and exciting material. So watch for me next Thursday at Slainte, the week after in Acoustic (the 6th) and then back at the Connection and probably Slainte following on the 14th. Until then, feel free to go to my myspace page and watch videos of me and pretend the jokes are new and exciting.

There's no real hidden message behind the pictures today either. I just thought it was cute that my dog's hancercheif says "Little Firecracker" and it'll probably be awhile before I'm back in the pool again.

I Shoulda Doubled Down

2006-08-20T05:44:00.000-07:00

I had a great set last night, don't get me wrong. I even had multiple applause breaks. It was great. But I wanted more. The room was sold out, completely packed. Every one of my jokes worked, but a few of them could've had more punch to them. But the crowd was a little more geared towards family friendly material it seemed. My material was more edgy, obviously, and if the crowd mentality was more raw I think I would've killed. It's a bit of a wake-up call for me to put together some material that is more accessible than just my biting stuff.

Bob Marley was great the whole night and definitely kept everyone entertained. Now that it's behind me, I can get back to crafting newer material and trying different things. My agent Tim told me to stay with my solid material and not try newer stuff for last night's show. I can see his point, but I also don't like to be told what type of material to do, but that's part of the game, and I'm just 1 cog in the whole machine.

I'm on a good streak of good to great shows right now, and enjoying being back in the game. My stage time is going to quiet down for a little while, the Connection has given only 1 or 2 showcase shows to comics throughout September. After next Tuesday, I'll have to wait until September 14th for my next show there, so I'll be filling in time at Slainte, and maybe even Acoustic.

I'll be back on top of writing, and am trying to get some time with Tuck. I think we'd be good for each other as far as perspective, so I hope we can find the time. It's creeping up on a year that I've been doing this, and I feel that recreating my angle might be in the works, or at least expanding what I use for material.

Like A New Born Baby

2006-08-18T03:50:00.000-07:00

Good show last night. I liked the material I ran, and it was all new. I was going to do a couple new jokes, but Wednesday, Luke Hanberry gave me shit about having such a large notebook full of jokes and always running the same material. Truth be told, I run new material a lot, and I had even ran a joke that night that I hadn't even written out. Also most of the jokes from that set were less than a month old. But I'll admit it chapped my cheeks a little.

So I wrote all new jokes, except the brand new one from the night before. I'm sure he'll say something about me running a joke twice now. And running new material can be daunting. It's kind of like childbirth without the uteral wall tearing and stuff. Because you expose raw ideas, and the momentum of your entire set can change if the jokes don't go well. It was okay though, because because all of my jokes got laughs, and seemed to be working okay. In fact, one joke absolutely killed, and another one I think can be flushed into another great joke. Out of six new jokes, getting two I feel confident in running right away is a great feat. Like the analogy of childbirth, when that one joke killed, it felt like I delivered the baby, and the doctors said there was a 78% chance he'd be retarded, but then he comes out with a degree from DeVrey, hey it's not Harvard, but cut him some slack he's a newborn, and aside from a slightly lazy eye, it's a beautiful baby. Sorry for the runon sentence.

There was some good stuff going on at Slainte last night, and some not so good, but it's always a relaxed and supportive crowd. I love to work that room. It's too bad the crowds aren't as big as when it started, but you do get some regulars that are willing to tell you what they thought was working or not.

My next show is this Saturday night at 9:45 at the Comedy Connection. It's being billed as an All Star Showcase. It should be fun, and I hear the tickets are selling well. My show at Mr. Goodbar on the 28th was cancelled. Not that I like to lose shows, but I wasn't super jazzed to face that room again. As I understand, most everyone is having a hard time with it.

Have a nice day everyone, and than you to all my repeat visitors, it's nice to know people find my adventure somewhat interesting. Feel free to comment if you'd like.

And So It Begins...

2006-08-17T02:24:00.000-07:00

Last night I had a really good set. It felt nice because it was a rough room at the Connection. I wasn't watching the show, just hung out with the comics and watched as other comics came out and pissed and moaned about what a terrible crowd it was. I couldn't have cared less last night.

I waited for my spot and just got up and ripped it. It was a decent mix of older stuff and newer stuff, with a brand new one thrown in that actually did fairly well. At the moment I was telling my chocolate penis joke, I noticed two large black men in front. That joke talks about men wanting a larger penis. I involved them in the joke, walking the line between racial stereotyping and funny, and it paid off. They laughed and it disolved any tension that might have been in the room during that moment. I tried a couple of techniques I learned from some books I've been reading and was surprised to see them work.

I'm pretty tired this morning, but I'll have to shake that. This week is going to be busy, and there's no time to be sluggish. Tonight, I'll be at Slainte'. I'll try and write some new jokes for there tonight, and then tomorrow morning I'm off to go see the Red Sox and Yanks at Fenway. I'm so excited I could just sh*t! Saturday night's the big show at the Comedy Connection, it's the All Star Show with a special guest I'm supposed to keep on the down low. $12 bucks will answer the mystery for you if you show up.

Walking Away From A Trainwreck Unscathed

2006-08-09T05:33:00.000-07:00

I had a great set last night. All of my jokes worked great except for one which just kind of worked, and that was a brand new one. I'll be able to rework that one later on. And although I had a great set, it feels like it was by the skin of my teeth. For some others, last night was more like a bit of a train wreck.

I almost felt as if the crowd from Old Orchard Beach had become lost and came to my favorite comedy club. From jump, these people didn't want to have anything to do with the show and there were noisy drunk hecklers. Our host even had a hard time getting anything out of them. I was scheduled 8th out of 12 comics, and I sat and watched as normally talented and respected comics got chewed up and spit out onstage. It was grizzly to watch. And then the #7 comic happened which I'm fairly certain saved me.

The comic was Bill Picard, and he was a wheelchair bound comic. He used a keyboard to speak, just like Stephen Hawking. (On a side note, this is where I decided to scratch my joke that referred to Stephen Hawking for the night). His jokes were funny, but went over even harder I believe because he was handicapped. I have to say though, that it was inspiring. When he got up I was brought right up onstage. I did something at this point I felt guilty about later.I was so impressed by what Bill had done, instead of asking the crowd to give it up again for the host, I asked them to give it up to Bill. Then I played back and forth with Bill and referenced one of his jokes. I could tell Bill liked being called back into the next set, and I felt good making him feel good. But after my set I realized I was kind of stealing his thunder and projecting him onto myself by interracial with him. Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but it was an advantage I created over other comics for the night.Last night was a rough crowd, but I made it through with flying colors. Very few comics had a good night last night, but I was one of the more solid sets of the night. It felt good. I cannot tell a lie.

My next show is next Wednesday the 16th. I was also added to the All-Star Weekend and that's the 19th at 9:45. One other comic I know that's working that show is Dustin Beckleman, and it's always fun working with him. That one will be special for me, because it's a Saturday night show, and my first one at the Connection. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for great things.

Cheers... errrr...... umm...... Slainte'!

2006-08-04T02:21:00.000-07:00

It was another fun time at Slainte' last night. It was my only set for the night, so I got to be there on time and "take the bullet". The show was supposed to start at 8:30, but didn't kick in until just after 9:00. There was a severe lack of people there that weren't comics. By the time I hit the stage though, it was about a third full. We'd get more folks throughout the show, but all in all a slower night for Slainte'.

I tried something different last night to see if it'd work. I played a game where I had everyone sitting close, like the comedy campfire. And knowing over half my set were new jokes I hadn't really written out, I looked to the other comics for help. I'd tell a joke and pass the mic to see how someone else might have changed it. To be honest, the additional feedback from other comics didn't really add much to the jokes, but it accomplished what I wanted. Basically I was taking a small crowd, making the situation more intimate and drawing them in as well as setting a mood. They were engaged in the performance, and there wasn't a single person chatting with other people or not paying attention. That's a pretty difficult feat in bar setting.

My new material went well. I had reworked the Jesus as Voltron bit, economizing the hell out of it. It ended up working. It went from the joke that drew crickets 2 nights ago, to a joke that got good laughs last night. I did a couple of things with it to make it work. First, I cut out unnecessary words and ran it as slim as possible. Then I used the fact that I was bored in a hotel room and decided to read the Bible. Seems like a subtle change, but I've noticed people shut down when you tell religious jokes pretty quickly, because they feel like you're going to preach. By making it an act of boredom instead of a preaching sermon, I think it made the joke more accessible. That's the kind of ridiculous shit I think about when writing jokes. It felt good though because I liked the idea of telling a joke about Jesus being a Japanese Robot comprised of Apostles, as opposed to a shitty carpenter.

I took off not too long after that, I was pretty tired. It was another great time in a great room though. I feel it vindicated my last trip there where I got befuddled by hecklers. Thundercats Ho! Next show is Tuesday August 8th at the Comedy Connection, which is also the birthday of my friend Mike who has the record website I linked to on the right over there.

It Was Busy But Fun

2006-08-03T02:28:00.000-07:00

Last night I had rehearsal with the Running With Scissors gang st 6:30. I had just enough time to get home and take care of a few things before heading out. It went okay. I think I did better with them the last time I was there. There's another practice next week on Wed.

The Stand-up show at the Connection following was a good one. I went on fifth, and I was following a new girl comic. She seemed very nervous, but it was obvious that she had brought a lot of folks with her. It helped out the whole room if you ask me. She had some good ideas, but hadn't flushed them out, and the crowd was being real supportive. That helped me in a way because the were in the "give an inch take a mile" type of mode. And I took everything I could.

My set went really well. All of my jokes worked, except a new one I was writing beforehand. I don't remember how the conversation came up before the show, but a couple comics and I were talking about Jesus. I got it in my head to write a joke about Jesus not being a carpenter, but actually might have been a Japanese robot that forms like Voltron out of the Apostles. The whole flow of the joke wasn't right, and who knows, the premise might be ridiculous, but I'd like to give it another try. The idea strikes me as funny. Some people will tell you a bit isn't working, but if you rework it because you believe in it, it can really boost your ego when it finally does work. My Fantasy Baseball joke is a lot like that. A few folks told m not to use it, but I really like the concept, so I kept it and now it's one of my favorites to perform.

Another show tonight out at Slainte'. Timmy B posted that it starts at 8:30. I'll be there and I'm hoping to run a couple new bits, and might rework the Jesus Voltron one to see if it has any merit. And then I won't have another until next Tuesday, back at the Connection.

P.S. The picture above is of my dog's favorite toy. A stuffed squirrel named Earl Tha Squirrel. Not sure why I put it in there, but enjoy.

Making Faces!

2006-08-02T06:20:00.000-07:00

I had my “audition” for the Dancing Face DVD project by Topper Carew last night. It was kind of a funny situation/story. Originally it was supposed to take place at the Comedy Connection a couple of weeks back, but I couldn’t make it. He seemed pretty jazzed to have me do it, and said if I gave him my email, he’d send me a message if they decided to do another audition. I got an email.

The email stated that the next time they were doing it was on August 1st at 7:00 at a place called Springsteen’s on Spring Street. I’d never heard of that location, but figured I knew where Spring Street was, so I’d be able to find it. I went to Holiday Inn By The Bay, as that was one of the landmarks referenced in the email and asked a very polite, smartly dressed gay gentleman at the front desk if he knew where this place was. He said that the only thing he could think of was a bar called Spring Street on Spring Street which was a gay bar. He asked me, with a little glint in his eye I might add, if I was looking for a gay bar. I assured him I wasn’t sure, but I was supposed to meet a guy who wanted to film me, but not in the way it sounded. I tried to explain that it involved filming my face, but no matter how I explained it, it sounded like I was going to take a load in my face at a gay bar. I said thanks for the help and excused myself, knowing there was no smooth way I could get out of that conversation without seeming gayer than most of the patrons of the gay bar.

I went to the bar, a little cautiously. I’d never been to a gay bar, seriously. It was the right place. Basically I met with the director and he had 3 cameras and 3 or 4 light towers. There were 2 cameramen, and nobody else had shown up to film yet. It was a pretty professional set-up. They started up some electronic dance type music and I began dancing with my face. I’ll be honest, I felt a little ridiculous. It was supposed to go for 1 minute, but I’m fairly certain it went longer than 1 minute. At least it felt like it went at least 3. They said I had some funny stuff and I could watch their website for further updates.

When I left, I could only think to myself that I hope I didn’t run into anyone that might think I was leaving my fiancé for the love of a man. And sure enough as soon as I opened the door, there was fellow comedian John Ater. I asked are you here to do the face dance thing? He said I’m here for penis. Just kidding, he was there for the same thing, but I didn’t stick around. I went home to think of manly things like hunting, fishing, and drinking beer with strippers. Female strippers.

Maybe Next Time

2006-07-31T02:47:00.000-07:00

I had a really fun weekend, that ended up not having anything to do with comedy. My girlfriend and I went to Providence on Saturday and caught Water Fire, which is where the city had fires that they light up along the canals. They had gondolas and fire swinging people, all while they play music. It was interesting.

We went to Pawtucket the next day to see the Paw Sox and Keith Foulke was supposed to pitch, but I guess he tweaked something in his back or something. It was hotter than hell, and we left just as the 9th inning was getting underway.

I was supposed to perform with Running With Scissors last night at the Connection, but one more person said they couldn't make it, so they cancelled. I was pretty excited to do it, but there will be a next time. I'm on Wednesday night with Dennis Hunt from the group at the Connection, so we'll talk about it then.

Playing With Scissors

2006-07-27T02:35:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I hung out with Tuck Tucker and Dennis Hunt of Running with scissors. They ran me through a few exercises for improv comedy, and I have to admit it was more fun than I thought it'd be. It's humor on a more organic level. It's a different way than I'm used to about approaching comedy, but I can see myself learning from it. It was also cool to work independantly with those guys, as they're a couple of the comics I've grown to look up to in the area.

I must have done okay, they asked me to do a show with them on Sunday. I told them I'd do my best to be there, but had to leave it open a little. I'm going to be in Providence and Pawtucket this weekend, and my return time will be cutting it pretty close. I explained it all in great detail so that they didn't think I was trying to be a jerk. They needed extra warm bodies due to Rachel being out of town. I won't go into detail about why, that's her business, but my heart goes out to her, I've been there myself.

I didn't do Acoustic last night, but I came pretty close to doing a set at the Connection. Karen Morgan showed up as we were finishing, and I half talked and half joked myself into a set because someone cancelled. I let Tuck take the set though. I'm still riding high from a good set a couple night ago, and the length of time it took me to have that good set, I didn't want to blow one so soon.

So next stand-up show for me is next Wednesday at the Connection, and my debut with Running With Scissors is this Sunday. Unless of course I get stuck in traffic or something crazy like that.

Stand-up Comedy Is A Lot Like Golf

2006-07-26T02:10:00.000-07:00

It really is. You can have a run of nothing but terrible swings in golf, and want to give up. But you have 1 great shot and it keeps you coming back. Last night was a great swing.

The crowd was small last night. 24 to be exact, I counted while I was waiting for my set. I started my set with a quick quip asking them to perform cellular mitosis in order to double the size of the crowd. That kind of fell flat, I'm not sure if that reference was a little to esoteric to start the show with, but I'll call that a mulligan. From that point on I had them. All of my jokes were doing well, and a couple seemed to make folks laugh as if the room was full. It felt great to command the room again. I even ran a brand new joke that the setup didn't get the laughs I thought it would, but the payoff line got the room. I'm fairly certain it was the pentameter of how I set it up, and I can do that one better next time. It was a brand new joke that I hadn't worked through yet, but I definitely have something cool to work with.

Luke Hanberry, Kevin Neales, and Mark DeCosta were there last night, as well as about 6 or 7 other comics. I'd say I had either the top 1 or 2 best set of the night. When you have guys that turn the room out like those guys there, to come out near or at the top is a great feeling.

My next show is next Wednesday Aug. 2nd at the Connection. There's a slim possibility I may do Acoustic Coffee tonight (I know what I've said in the past, don't make me eat my words). I also have an audition tonight with the improvisational group Running With Scissors, and I'm waiting on a contact from a guy called Topper Carew about auditioning for a "face dancing" DVD thing. I'm not really sure what that one's about, but he seemed pretty jazzed to have me try out. He's the creator of the Martin show from back in the early 90's. Wuzzup?

Not on Top, But Back In The Game

2006-07-21T02:22:00.000-07:00

I had a pretty fun set last night at the Connection. I had a much better set than I've been having, but I'm not back on the top of my game quite yet. It was a fairly quiet crowd, but I ran a lot of material, and only 1 joke didn't go over. It was an awkward joke that I'd run in the past and gotten laughs on, but it is a little confusing, so I may just ditch it. But the way I handled it saved the moment. Basically I told folks that there's be a burial service for that joke after the show if they'd like to stop by and say a few kind words. It just felt good to get back up there and do well again.

Slainte' went the other way. Although some of my stuff was really winning the room over, there were 3 guys that were piss drunk yelling through my set and trying to get involved. They kept yelling about Thundercats for some reason, and no matter how much I bit back, they didn't shut up. Same thing happened to Luke after me, which was too bad because the room was real lively and fun until those guys started up and the wheels fell off. I left after that and hope the room righted itself, it'd be a shame if that's the direction the room went in at this point as it's been a real fun room to work. So that set wasn't great, but the situation was more than my jokes or the room, it was out of control hecklers with an agenda. But I did feel really good about how 2 of my new jokes went over, so they'll be in the rotation for a little while. And then when I was done, one of the hecklers pulled me aside to say he liked my stuff. Of course I was wondering why he just didn't shut up to hear it, but really who cared.

I was just happy to get out there and not suck the life out of the rooms last night.

Oh Sweet OOB!

2006-07-18T02:08:00.000-07:00

I'd really like to say this was the show where I turned it all around, and sadly I can't. But this time it wasn't my fault. My set, in my opinion, was actually pretty decent. But getting laughs out of that crowd last night was like doing brain surgery with a mallet. I only stayed for about half of the show, but the most laughter coming from the crowd even for the host was a low rumbling. If I'm asked to do that location again, I'll have to acquiesce to decline. Honest to God, a train ran through just before my set blowing it's whistle not more than 20 feet from the stage. The crowd wasn't into me, wasn't into George Hamm, wasn't into anything other than mild sedatives. But it didn't effect me so much last night.

One thing this string of bad shows is doing for me is toughening my skin. It's making me think more realistically about how I expect a crowd will react, and it's giving me determination to put out some newer fresher material and come out with more vigor. I had to kill 10 minutes last night, so I had to use most of my "proven" material. It felt stale to me, maybe it's been feeling stale to the audiences. I'm going to put together some fresh material and come with it later this week. I've switched up my style before, I'll do it again. I'll go with maybe more edgy but less blue material. This is a moment where I have choice. I'd like to quit, because let's face it, I'm not getting paid for this, but where's the honor in that? I need to go back out there and prove once again that I'm funny. I know I am, I've had people tell me so and have video to prove it. This may be a fool's errand to keep moving on, but who knows, exploring this other style coming up may be the best thing I can do. At this point I have nothing to lose. I feel like this is a cliffhanger and Batman and Robin are about to get eaten by the Penguins man eating robot birds, and we won't find out what happens until next week. But you'll only have to wait until Friday morning.

Well...... That sucked!

2006-07-14T05:20:00.000-07:00

I got to say, my shows at the Connection are trending towards foolish at this point. I actually don't feel too bad about my set from last night, even though it was one of my worst sets there ever. I know where I went wrong.

I pretty much went into in a negative mindset after my last set and self destructed right off the bat. I think I might be thrown because I've been keeping time and rushing after I got the previous drop in time. I've gone from 7-8 minutes, to 5, to 10, and back down to 6 last night. To start the show off I forgot to start my watch, and literally without thinking raised my watch above he mic and hit the timer which let out a loud "beep". I lost the crowd right there, and didn't even start to get them until halfway through my next joke. I did get them with some of my jokes, but a lot of my set was forced and I had to work way too hard at that point. I was stammering and hurrying. That's not really like me. I've decided that not only will I come with new material for the next show, I'm not going to time myself. I know it's wrong because I should be vigilant, but they're being inconsistent with the time they give me anyhow, so what do I care anyway?

I'm actually kind of glad I got that one out of the way. It's over, now I've sucked the life out of that room finally, and can go nowhere but up. Like I said, it won't always be pretty, it just hurts to do poorly in your favorite room. I'll be back to the Connection next Thursday, and I'm very excited to work that show because Kevin Knox will be the host. He's a great guy. In the meantime, I have a show Monday at Mr. Goodbar in Old Orchard Beach where I'm supposed to do 10 minutes, and I might try Sierra in Gorham on Wednesday. If all goes well though, I'll squeeze in Slainte' after my Connection show Thursday next week. I've got enough chances to get back on track, let's see if I can right this ship.

Dragging out the meh.....

2006-07-12T02:16:00.000-07:00

There's the picture I was trying to upload since last week. Pretty huh? Last night was bittersweet. There were a couple of cancellations and I got to do 10 minutes. Here's the rub. I started the show, which usually means the reaction of the crowd hasn't really set itself yet. I had an okay set. It was about as warm as last Thursday. It was actually a good set, but I could've done better I think. There were 4 new comics last night, and it was a bringer show. I brought my fiance and that was it. Oh well.

As usual, if I don't kill the show, all I've been thinking about since I got off stage is "Am I a bad comic? Should I just give it up?". There's that great self esteem I have eating away at me like an ulcer. I'll do my best to put it behind me and try again on Thursday.

I'm not sure how much time I'll be doing as I've gone from 5 to 10 minutes in 1 week, but I'll plan for 7 for Thursday. Hopefully I'll have a great set, I can't handle doing mediocre.

Good, Better, and Best

2006-07-07T02:25:00.000-07:00

I took a couple pictures before last night's shenanigans started, and the sky was really pretty. I couldn't help but think something was going to be magical about last night when I saw the sky like that. I'll have to post that part later. The service doesn't seem to be accepting pictures right now.

Last night was a funny night. A couple of things happened. Being a Thursday night, I was scheduled to do a set at the Comedy Connection. When I got there I found out my usual 7-8 minutes had been cut down to 5 minutes. I'm assuming it's because my previous set I was supposed to do 7 minutes I went 9 and a half minutes. I was bummed, because I hadn't had to try and squeeze a set into five minutes for awhile, so my set was hurried. It was a GOOD set, but I know I'm capable of better. I was thrown off to be honest with you. I was on fourth, so I was done by 9:30 so I headed over to Slainte'.

There were only about 5 more comics left by the time I got there, so I put my name in as well. The room had only about 20 people left in it by the time I hit the "stage" area, so I made everyone come gather around in what I called a "Comedy Campfire". I did a set of all brand new material, some I hadn't written out yet, but went with the flow. The new stuff was a hit for the most part, and I think I definitely had a BETTER set than before, I dare say a great set.

set, while everyone was sitting around me still, Timmy mentioned that the show was done, unless there were more comics. That's when the idea hit me to tag team some jokes with Dustin like we were going to try the week before. He came up, we did a few back and forth, then other comics joined in too. We tossed the mic back and forth until it hit the ground, and then called it a night. It was the BEST set of the night because it was impromptu and special. I'm sure it's something most people that were still there can say was pretty sweet.

Next 2 shows are next Tuesday and Thursday at the Comedy Connection. Hopefully I'll have more time than 5 minutes, but I'll plan to be on probation all the same next week. I have enough material building up at this point I'll be able to roll with the punches if it goes long or short. I believe Luke Hanberry said he also was doing Tuesday night, so if you want to see me or Portland's Funniest of 2006, swing by and check it out.

A Fun Night!

2006-06-30T02:43:00.000-07:00

I had a rough start to my set. The PA was all messed up and giving tons of reverb, but once Timmy B fixed it, I was good. I tried out a good amount of new material, and most of it worked. I had a cannibal bit I thought was going to be really funny, but I'll have to flush that one out if I really want it. Lots of great comics last night, there were at least 17 on the bill.

There were no run ins with transvestites last night, just a great time. I left at about 10:20 and there were still tons more people that needed to go on. I had to get some sleep though. I also found out about another room run by Dennis Fogg in Gorham at Sierra which is the third Tuesday of every month. He told me to swing by and do a set, so I might give that a go next month as I don't have anything booked that day. My next show coming up is next week Thursday at the Connection. I won't be able to make it back to Slainte' until August, but I'll probably try out Sierra just to try a new room.

I got a picture of me and Dustin from last night. He was dressed so pimpin, how could I resist? He claims the tie is Wal-Mart for $8, I think it was Michael Korrs for hundreds and he doesn't want us to know how deep he rolls.

I blew it off.

2006-06-29T04:58:00.000-07:00

Just in case anybody's still reading this. I decided not to do time at Acoustic Coffee last night. No biggie, I just didn't feel like it. I suppose I wanted to save all my juice for tonight. I'm pretty excited about tonight at Slainte'. Dustin and I are planning on doing something new, and a lot of the comics are very jazzed about this room, and for good reason, it's fun as hell. I promise to remain standing up, or at least not lay down on the couch. I won't be able to make it back to Slainte' for awhile after tonight, because I'm booked Thursdays for awhile at the Comedy Connection. It won't be until August I'll be back, so I've sent out a bulletin on myspace to try and garner as much attention for this show as I can. If you know of someone that wants to laugh, tell 'em about it. It's free and it should rip tonight.

Also no update for the goofy Mike picture. It's just not fair right now. But who knows, maybe tomorrow you'll see something new. I don't feel right posting a goofy picture if I didn't do a set.

Another Lovely Evening

2006-06-26T02:25:00.000-07:00

I feel a little bad, because I ran an almost identical set to the last time i was at the Connection, but I didn't have a chance to run new stuff at any open mics. I did mix it up with the stuff I did, so it wasn't too bad. It was a great crowd. I'm glad I went up early, because as the night went on the crowd was a little less responsive.

I had to hit a variety store intown because I didn't feel well before the show. I was cramping in my stomach real bad and was either going to have the shits or my period, so I made my way to some Pepto. After one "incident" at Flatbread Pizza, my positraction was no longer slipping. I still felt a little off for the rest of the night, but at least the threat of me dropping deuce in my drawers was quelled until after my set.

I had a brief run-in with a heckler last night. He was right up front, and for some reason had a problem with my Rue McClannighan comment. Long story short, I laid into him pretty well, and the crowd was having fun at his expence. I usualy just ignore people like that. It could've been my cranky bung, or it could've been that he was directly in front of me, but I was a little more confrontational than I usually would be.

All in all, it was a blast. This week coming up, I have Acoustic Coffee on Wednesday (possibly, I know I said I thought I was done, be we still have kids together and he can be sweet. You don't know him!) and Thursday at Slainte'. I'll be running some more new stuff, so we'll see how it flies. Stimulater!

P.S. I've included one of my personal favorite goofy pictures of Mike. Straight up gangsta!

A Few Blocks Makes A Difference

2006-06-16T02:24:00.000-07:00

It's amazing what a difference makes in venue. Last week Sunday I had a great set at Comedy Connection, and the video on myspace shows the crowd was into my set. Then two days ago I felt my confidence beaten down at Acoustic Coffee. Then last night I'm top of the world again. What an incredible crowd last night, they were there to laugh.

I used some of my newer stuff last night and it went over well. There's a couple of jokes in my arsenal that I've gotten real comfortable doing most every set, at least one of them, and I didn't use them. It felt good to get new stuff to fly for a responsive audience. Another thing I didn't do last night was use a "closer". Every set that I'd done yet has a callback joke as a closer. I just wanted to try something different last night. It was good. It didn't tie the set up in a neat bow, but I think it made my last joke less predictable and more of a surprise for the audience. I can't say enough good things, great show.

And of course, I've included a goofy picture of Mike because nobody's sending me a goofy picture of themselves. But then again, Mike and Amanda are the only folks I know reading this. So Amanda if you'd like to save him from the embarrassment, send in a goofy picture will you?

Really can't tell what happened.

2006-06-14T19:38:00.000-07:00

The crowd was very quiet tonight. It was mostly comics again, so who knows if anything went over well or not. I believe that puts me dead even at 2 and 2 for good night and bad nights at Acoustic Coffee. I don't even know if I bombed. Oh well, the nice thing is if it was as bad as I felt it was, there really wasn't anyone there that'll care. It was like telling jokes at a sleep clinic, and it wasn't just me. Tomorrow's back at the Connection though, so I'll be back where I prefer.

Not really sure why I put a picture of my girlfriend and I up today. It just made me feel nice. I promise something foolish of my friend Mike for the next post if nobody sends me a goofy picture. Here's a small sample. It's him crying as well as laughing, because he knows the juice picture isn't far off.

Watch Your Mouth!

2006-06-12T02:15:00.000-07:00

I honestly don't know what happened, but for some reason the show went pretty raunchy last night. I was a little more free with my language, and cussed more than usual, but it worked out. Dustin Beckleman, Joe Ricchio, and Rich Pickford were all on the bill, so you know it had to get nasty at some point. What a fun show. Probably a little more than 3/4 full, and the crowd was into it from the start. Even my newer material was working well. I had a blast, and hope this is a sign that the summer months will bring in more folks.

I've also updated myspace to a comedian page and have an ongoing calendar of upcoming shows which is a bit easier to read. Check it out at http://www.myspace.com/robscomedy. Next show coming up is Wednesday at Acoustic Coffee and then the next day back at the Comedy Connection. Hope to see some folks there.

P.S. Photos seem to be working for now, so here's the reference picture I was going to post before of Wesley Snipes. Doesn't seem as relative right now, but Mike's infamous juice picture gets a stay of execution.

Another Great Time At Slainte'

2006-06-09T02:48:00.000-07:00

This was my second show there, and just as fun for me as the first. Another great crowd, the new set-up was nice, hell I got to do my set lying on a couch. The crowd wasn't as big as last time, but it was a much more focused group so it was pretty supportive. There wasn't an issue of people talking over the comics like it was before. Really a great night, I can't say enough positive things about the room, comics, and the job Timmy B has done getting this off the ground.

I was the first comic up and I was going to do a 50/50 mix of new and old material. I had about 6 or 7 minutes prepared. Seth (SBP!) Perry and Timmy convinced me to do more time. I'm not sure how much I did, but I'm certain it was over 10 minutes. I'm pretty sure my new stuff was working, some of it got better laughs than the jokes I'd been getting great feedback on. That was a nice feeling. There was a self deprecating gay joke I wasn't sure was too much or not, but apparently it hit the right chord. I had a great set, and lots of fun. Now onto why no picture of Mike's infamous bottle picture, and why Wesley Snipes is on my blog.

At some point after my set, I went outside to get some fresh air. I was chatting it up with S-B-P! and this little black woman came up to us. She'd clearly been drinking heavily and she was very friendly. She came up and leaned into our conversation and said, her man likes her to jiggle his balls. She was just about 5 feet tall and looked like a cross dressing version of Wesley Snipes (no shit!). We said "Oh really?". She went on to tell us that they like to drink, she was fond of Miller Lite, her man likes Maine beer, Shipyard. Seth tells her she's a beautiful woman. Incredulously I peep over at him and he's bolting from the conversation leaving me with Ms. Wesley Snipes all primed. I didn't want to bolt right away, thinking she might think I'm a racist. But then she leans into me and says "You should give me some sweet lovin'". "Excuse me" I said, "but you have a man that needs his balls jiggled and more beer to drink". She said "Yup, you need to give me sweet lovin'". I told her that wasn't a good idea and thanked her for the conversation and excused myself. But still, I'm hoping she doesn't think I'm a racist. I'll get you back for that S-B-P! You just wait ;)

(P.S. Looks like the photo feature of Blogspot is down right now. Pics will be added later on)

One Thing I Didn't Think I'd Ever Say....

2006-06-04T05:53:00.000-07:00

I had a good time in Sanford. I realize that the first 2 times I played Sanford, it was probably less than stellar. But I'm warming up to them now. I'm now up 3 good shows to 2. I got to do about 13 minutes worth of stuff with and banter as well. I was hosting last night, and for me, that takes a lot of pressure off. It was another paying gig, but I kept the money this time. Hey, I gotta keep them honest.

Last night I worked with Jerry Caruso and Ace Aceto, both great guys. I'd actually worked with Jerry on my first show in Sanford, so it was nice to have someone that saw me sucking at first come back when I'm more confident and have more material. It reminds me of the Dave Attell joke about going back to the first person he ever made love to and singing... "Look who's not crying, like a big boy!"

There was some crazy woman with a wedding party that kept trying to heckle the comics, and I may have gotten her wound up. She seemed like she might be a problem, so I threatened to dirty dance and hump her. She shut up for me, but she tended to get going again once I was off the stage. Old drunk horny chicks in Sanford, what really can you say? It was "redneck charming".

I had promised a goofy picture of my friend Mike for my next update if nobody sent in a funny face, and nobody came through. Unfortunately, I have all the incriminating photos of him on my work PC, so his stay of execution is going to be held over for this post. But, be rest assured, I have a show at Slainte' this Thursday night starting at 9:00, and if I don't have a goofy photo by then, the infamous juice bottle picture will come out.

Additional date change info:

2006-06-01T06:41:00.000-07:00

Just a couple things to update on. I know I had mentioned in my last post that I'd be doing a show in Sanford at Spectator's this Saturday, but I wanted to include a couple of other new dates to make sure I was being complete in my coverage of dates.

Due to the cancellation of the June 4th show it is being replaced by 3 shows: The aforementioned Sanford show, July 17th at Mr. Goodbar in Old Orchard Beach, and July 20th at the Comedy Conection in Portland.

Also, on weeks opposite of the Acoustic Coffee open mic nights, Slainte', across from Portland Public Market is hosting open mics on Thursdays. Upcoming shows you will likely see me at are:
6/8/06
6/22/06
8/3/06
and 8/17/06

The July dates conflict with shows scheduled at Comedy Connection, so I won't be there on those nights. The schedule is getting busier, come check out a show. It's good times for all, unless of course you hate laughing and good times. Then you would want to get a picture to take pictures of yourself making a sour puss. Feel free if you're reading this to send in a picture of yourself making your best sour puss, and I'll post one per update that I put on the page. You can send it to my email address under my profile. If I don't get any, I'll probably just end up posting pictures of my friend Mike making silly faces as he's often prone do doing so.

Like Hanging Out With Friends

2006-06-01T02:32:00.000-07:00

That's what last night at Acoustic Coffee was like. Almost everyone there was a comic ecxept for about 3 people. It was fine though. I had a decent set, I'd almost say good, but I still have to watch the tape to be sure. I tried some new stuff that I think went over okay, but I did get distracted while onstage and just had fun as opposed to worrying about anything. Other comics came by after my set to say what a great job I did, but I missed something and didn't see it, but somehow I think I'm not understanding how to read a really quiet room. It wasn't just me, everyone was having a quiet night while I was there. It was still fun, and like the title says, it was just lke hanging out with some friends.

Next show is this Saturday at Spectator's in Sanford. I'll be hosting that show. Then I'll probably work Slainte' on Thursday.

Quick change to upcoming dates

2006-05-30T09:43:00.000-07:00

Due to the Old Port Festival being on June 4th, that date is cancelled for the Comedy Connection. I'm hoping tomorrow to have a make-up date for this show. I'll post it once I know. On a positive note Thursday June 8th is the next open mic for Slainte', so I'll probably do that night to make up for the drop of the Connection.

What A Blast!

2006-05-26T02:27:00.000-07:00

Last night I went in and did Slainte'. There were few of us there, myself, Joe Richio, Erin Cyr, Timmy B, Dustin Beckelman, and some very drunk guy that was going on last I believe, but I left before he hit the stage. It was fun. Not like your typical comedy show, you really had to work to keep the crowd into it. I went on first and had a great set. I was feeling very calm and not nervous at all last night which was cool. I didn't get to tape the show because there was no place to put my camera. There were just too many packed into such a small space to allow for it. Now when I say I think I had a great set, that was nothing compared to Joe's. He did about 20 minutes, and almost all of it was killing. Last night was his room, glad I went on before him. I felt bad for Erin who had a good set, but Joe took it all out of them. My set was the same I'd done for the past couple of shows, so I'll probably mix it up this next time. I've decided I'll probably swing out to Acoustic Coffee next Wednesday for more time. There was talk about doing the comedy night at Slainte' every other Thursday. If they'll let me, I'll definitely go back.

A Calm Night

2006-05-22T03:46:00.000-07:00

I had a pretty good set last night. It felt good to be back at the Comedy Connection. I was more comfortable onstage than I had been for a while, which felt good. I ran my set that went about 8:45 in 7:30 last night. I was supposed to just have 7:00 but we'll see if there's any repercussions. There was some great comics on last night, Tom Ryan, Tuck, Ian Harvey, and plenty more. I just wish there were more people to see it. There were about 20 people that showed up. I'm looking forward to the summer when there's more folks out and about to watch the shows. I'm building up a good supply of material now, so I should be able to mix it up pretty well when the rooms start to get busier. I posted the performance on myspace (see previous blog entry for address), and got rid of the other. With any luck, the video will have come out much better on this one. I'm waiting for it to clear processing on their servers now. Basically it's the same stuff as before, but you couldn't see me in the last one because it was so dark. An update of sorts for shows coming up, I've been told that Slainte' is going to be having an open mic on Thursdays, so I'll probably end up there as well as the Acoustic Coffee. Till next time. And to the only two people that I know read this blog... Hi Mike!..... Hi Amanda!

Don't ever call me a liar, or an aardvark.

2006-05-18T05:18:00.000-07:00

Okay, here are the updates for upcoming shows as promised. For the rest of this month, the only thing scheduled is this coming Sunday the 21st at Comedy Connection, but to get stage time I’ll probably end up at Acoustic Coffee’s open mic on the 31st.

Comedy Connection dates in June:
Sunday 6/4
Sunday 6/11
Thursday 6/15
Sunday 6/25

Comedy Connection dates in July:
Thursday 7/6
Tuesday 7/11
Thursday 7/13
Tuesday 7/25

Comedy Connection dates in August:
Wednesday 8/2
Tuesday 8/8
Wednesday 8/16
Tuesday 8/22

Possible open mic nights coming up for Acoustic Coffee:
May 31
June 14 and 28
July 12 and 26
August 9 and 23

Also I;m in the process of sending over a video of the 5/17/06 performance from Acoustic Coffee to myspace. I have to be honest, it seems to be taking a little effort to get it there, but hopefully it’ll be up by tomorrow. The address for that is http://www.myspace.com/robscomedy , and if you’re on my friends list, I’ll send a message once it’s out there. If you’re reading this and you’re not on my friends list and also participate in myspace, go ahead and send me a request and we’ll throw you in there. That’s it for updates today. I’ll update next Monday after the Comedy Connection show. Come on out and catch it. There should be some heavy hitters there that night.

Much better this time.

2006-05-18T02:27:00.000-07:00

I went for open mic at Acoustic Coffee last night. I had a pretty great set, which was a little surprising, because I ran A LOT of new material, and expected something to fall flat. But it didn't. Big kudos to Seth Bond Perry for putting that up. I also got to use my new video camera for the first time. It was fading in and out of focus, and I'm not sure why. It's my first time using it, so I'll have to mess with it. Perhaps I'll get the video and put it out on myspace. It was a small crowd full of comics. I didn't stick around too long after my set, I was pretty pooped. I have a lot of dates set up for the next three months and will make another post when I get to work on what those dates are, because that's where I wrote it down They're all at the Comedy Connection for the next 3 months, about 4 shows a month. But I have a funny feeling I'll try and squeeze in more time at Acoustic too if I can swing it. Open mic every other Wednesday. The next one is 5/31/06. Perhaps we'll see you there.

Not Sure How That Went

2006-05-04T02:43:00.000-07:00

I went into Acoustic Coffee last night to get some time. It was an odd room. I had the crowd for about half my set, then I lost them. Not really sure where I lost them. I sat there for awhile before I went on which kind of was lame, because I showed up at 7:00 and didn't get on until 9:45. The crowd wasn't very reactionary to most of the comics, so I sat there watching people get shot down all night waiting for my chance. Like I said, I started off strong, and by the middle of my set I didn't feel like being there. I think it might have shown in my performance. I tried a new joke about buying a used computer, which sucked the life out of the room, that's probably where the night went south for me.

I know a lot of the comics like to go there to bounce new material, but I wasn't comfortable in the room. The "stage" was at the same level as the audience and the mics kept going in and out. I'm not sure I was so into the free form of the scheduling, the host actually kept saying, I don't f**king know who's coming up next.

Long story short, it was a discouraging night for me. I got some stage time, but don't think it was very beneficial for me. I have no idea if my set really went well or not. I'm not sure if I'll go out of my way to hit that room again. I'm sure it's a great room for some folks to work, but it wasn't my cup of tea (pun). I'm much more comfortable at the Connection. Next show is May 21st, Comedy Connection.

What A Night!

2006-05-01T02:24:00.000-07:00

Last night's show was funny, and not necessarily for all the right reasons. First off I'll say that I had a great set. I'm getting more confidence and I have one of the better crowd reactions of the night.

The room wasn't really even a third full, and these people weren't necessarily there to laugh. It was by far the toughest room I'd seen, even Hammy was having a hard time getting them to laugh. But that just made me feel even better that I'd done as well as I did. I really had to work for it last night, and it paid off. Most of us last night, didn't have the best of luck.

It was hard to watch my comic peers up there last night struggling to get a laugh, but it really cool to see how they handled it. A couple of my favorite local comics couldn't get a laugh if their lives were depending on it, but they were funny last night. I won't normally blame a crowd, but last night it was completely the crowd. Without naming names of who had bad crowd reaction, I'd just say that the last set, I was about on the floor laughing. The last comic was having so much fun, at said comics own expense, you couldn't help but get caught up in the silliness. It was a moment of clarity for me, it said that even though we stress about how we're coming off onstage, it's just a comedy show in the end. We should just try and have fun.

The only upcoming show I have for this month is May 21st at the Portland Comedy Connection. I may try to supplement my addiction by trying out Acoustic Coffee. John Ader told me it's a great place to hit up for stage time on their open mic nights. They have a show this Wednesday and two weeks after that. If I do those, I'll update the post after and let you know how it went.

Another One Of "Those" Experiences

2006-04-27T02:18:00.000-07:00

Last night was fun. Not traditionally, but it was one of those nights that every comic that's been around awhile will tell you about. To say the crowd was small would've been an understatement. There were so few people in the crowd, all the comics had to come in and pretend to be normal audience members so that the room would seem fuller. But it ended up being fun.

It was a little nerve wracking, because most of them had heard my stuff before, so I had to try and put a spin on most of the stuff. But I did pretty well. Luke said I owned my set, but I know there's more I could do. I added on to some already existing jokes, and for my closer I actually used punchlines from one of Luke's jokes and one of Dustin's jokes. It's not so much a lift, because I don't plan on that becoming part of my act, but more or less an homage to the night. I figured we all have to sit through each others stuff, we should at least feel connected at some point and that felt like the right way to do it. Joe Ricchio was there last night, and there's something real cool about when he does a set that you can't help but be drawn in. It was a great night for local comedy, I'm proud to be a part of it even if people didn't show up in droves to see it.

Upcoming shows: Sunday April 30th. I only have 1 show next month on Sunday the 21st, but June I have 4 shows which I'll have to look up the dates later on. All of these shows are at the Portland Comedy Connection.

Eric's Hope

2006-04-23T06:11:00.000-07:00

Last night was the 2 shows in Sanford for the fireman named Eric and his medical condition. It was a short bill, myself hosting, Chuck Sanborn and Kevin Knox. I hadn't seen Knox before, but to say he's a ball of energy is an understatement and that's not just his stage persona. I was MC for the evening which I hadn't done before, but I really enjoyed it. There were 2 shows at 7:00 and 9:00 and I'll handle them separately.

7:00- The crowd had a lot of elderly people in the audience, and what kept ringing through my head was Tim telling me I should avoid my darker material, especially my Vagisil joke. It made sense, so I went with my safer stuff to open up. The crowd laughed, but it was a constant and steady laugh, which for a packed house I wanted to go for the throat, but I resisted. But when Knox got up there, he eased into it a little bit and then went full bore. There was no holding him back once he got rolling. His brand of energy is what sold the audience. He did a great job, and Chuck had a great set for himself. I think the demographic of the audience was working in his favor for the first set.

9:00- We had an awesome surprise, Eric's (the guy the benefit was for) niece came up to me between shows and asked if she could do a set. Of course I couldn't deny her, she was just this little thing and very excited. She was 12 years old I understand, and shorter than me. I warmed up the crowd and introduced her and the crowd went nuts. She had a good 4 minute bit about the first ever baseball game, and it was good. Then I did my first half of my material. I started slow, like I saw Knox do, then I got a little more risque. I ended up using the Vagisil joke and it did great. I had much better crowd response than the first set, probably because I could get into those jokes more. I played a little more with the crowd, and it was a great night. Chuck came up and did his thing, and Knox blew the place out a second time.

I almost called Tim to cancel out of last night's show during the day. I'd come down with a really rough cold and had pretty much lost my voice for 2 days straight. I didn't think I'd be able to perform, but I'm really glad I could. Eric seemed like a real stand up guy, and just they way he took it all in, I myself was inspired and honored to do the show and help raise money for him. I also took the money they paid me for the set (not much) and gave it to the group to give to Eric. Knox also was inspiring, he was diagnosed with cancer 18 months ago, but you'd never know it. He's into eating healthy and as he says "kicking cancer's ass", and I have to be honest, he seemed like one of the healthiest people I'd ever met.

Last night meant a lot to me. It was a night I didn't care how my jokes fell, or how the crowd reacted. It just felt good to get out there and do something for a good cause. And when Eric shook my hand at the end of the night and thanked me for everything I did, I was blown away. He deserved it as far as I know, and he probably deserves a whole lot more.

Upcoming shows: Next Wednesday the 26th in Portland, and the Sunday after that on the 30th in Portland. Both are at the Comedy Connection.

Not Good, Not Bad

2006-04-20T02:35:00.000-07:00

Last night's set was tepid at best. Here's the deal. I had some funy stuff going on, but I tried to force too much new material in there that I hadn't done and I wasn't selling it very well. I hadn't written out my jokes, so some of them went on too long. I've also come down with a cold and really wasn't up to performing. If you were there last night, I apologize for my involvement. I was actually losing my voice last night, so I was making a concious effort to keep my energy level low. I realize my energy lends a bit to my act.

Hopefully I can shake this cold by Saturday as I have those 2 shows in Sanford. Last night was frustrating, and I probably should have just stayed home, but I still learned something about my stuff last night, so it's okay. Other comics last night had good sets, and Running With Scissors came by and did a great job. There seemed to be a number of people there for that, so I was glad for them.

Other shows coming up this month are the two Saturday shows the 22nd in Sanford, the 26th at the Comedy Connection, and the 30th at the Comedy Connection.

Them's The Breaks

2006-04-14T02:11:00.000-07:00

Last night's round of semi finals for Portland's Funniest was a great set for me, but I didn't advance to the next round. I'm not entirely sure what happened or where I went wrong, because I feel pretty strongly I had one of the best sets last night. Of the three criteria that we got judged on, I can only think it was stage presence, because I was pretty nervous and it must've shown. I'm very upset with myself that I let it bother me as much as it has.

I was excited to go on to round two, and as I posted before, and just wanted a chance to play in front of a full house and have a good set. That's exactly what I got. But at some point my competitive juices got flowing and I started to care how I finished. When the night was over I was disappointed, and I hardly slept last night. Certainly not taking anything away from the comics that won because they earned it, but I feel a little cheated. Comedy is subjective and I have to expect not to do great every time, except the crowd was roaring last night. I tore it up, so I don't know what fully happened.

I'm very thankful that people came out and supported me. It was probably the most folks that have made it to see one of my shows yet. If you're reading this and you were there to see me, thanks a million. If you've been there to see me in the past, I really appreciate that too. Comedy is an emotional roller coaster, with it's peaks and valleys. Last night was a peak, and I have to stop letting it eat me up. I'll just go back out and give it my best and keep plugging away. Upcoming shows are for Portland Comedy Connection: April 19th, 26th, and 30th. And Sanford Spectator's April 22nd at 7 and 9:00.

On a side note, I got to go to see the beloved Red Sox on Wednesday, and although David Wells blew it, I got to meet the man Jerry Remy. So it can't be all bad.

New Kicks!

2006-04-04T05:18:00.000-07:00

No real comedy updates today, but kind of an offshoot. I never mentioned my other comedy project previously on this blog (not that I’m ashamed, I just wanted to keep the 2 separate), but this is too cool not to mention. For those of you not in the know, I’m Beanz of the acoustic comedy band Pork & Beanz. It’s a Tenacious D type of project and we’ve been featured on WBLM a number of times, Baystock, and other charity shows. But here’s the kicker. I got some custom sneakers through Nike.com and just wanted to put up a couple pictures to share my glee. Anybody that knows me personally knows I’m a fiend for sneakers. These were my custom designed kicks and I’d like to share them with you through the art of digital photography. You’ll probably see me wearing them from time to time onstage, and now you’ll know what the backs stand for. I guess I’ll pinch this post for now, but be sure to come out next Thursday April 13th to the Portland Comedy Connection for Round 2 of Portland’s Funniest.

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.

2006-03-30T04:18:00.000-08:00

I guess I had a decent set last night, but it was another one of those, "If a tree fell in the forest" kind of nights. I'd say most of the comics last night were trepidation, the crowd was tough. There were under 20 people when you didn't count the comics, and it was tough to tell if jokes were landing. Some jokes were working on some folks, and others on others, but the laughter mentality of the crowd was not in unison. I tried hard to keep the energy up as best I could, but I got bumped from 3 to last, and I think most of the folks were ready to call it quits before I got up there. There was a girl with tourette's doing a set with really funny material regarding her affliction, and the crowd didn't seem to respond. It was a tough night for edgy material for sure.

Bob Marley showed up again at the end this time, and that was the only time all night the crowd came alive. It's all part of the game though. You can't expect great things every time out, no matter how much you want it to happen. If anything I have a couple more jokes that I think will do well, and I may even use one or two during round 2 of Portland's Funniest.

That was one of the harder parts to swallow about last night. I had such a great set during Portland's Funniest, and everyone was still complimenting me on my set and material right up until I took the stage last night. Then I got to tell jokes to a chorus of crickets. It's very humbling. I'll brush it off as a learning experience and be ready to do my best next time.

Time To Update The Dates

2006-03-20T09:59:00.000-08:00

I’ve got a couple of updates to put on the page. Still high off getting second place in Portland’s Funniest the other night, I got a call from Tim Farrell who does our bookings through the Comedy Connection.

First things first, a cancellation. The Sunday April 16th Easter show isn’t happening as previously mentioned. The club is closed due to the holiday, therefore booking for that date was premature. Have no fear; I got another Sunday show to replace that one. Upcoming shows:

Wednesday March 29th Portland Comedy Connection 8:30
Thursday April 13th Portland Comedy Connection (Portland’s Funniest Round 2) 8:00
Wednesday April 19th Portland Comedy Connection 8:30
Saturday April 22nd Sanford @ Spectator’s (Cancer Benefit Show at 7:00 and 9:00)
Wednesday April 26th Portland Comedy Connection 8:30
Sunday April 30th Portland Comedy Connection 8:30
Sunday May 21st Portland Comedy Connection 8:30

Thanks to everyone that’s been supportive and have come to the shows. This has been a thrill ride. I’m pretty excited about doing the benefit show in Sanford. This is a full circle kind of thing, where people close to me going through cancer treatment were my inspiration to try stand-up, and now I can give a little back. Hope to see some folks out there, and that set will be a longer one for me.
I’ve gotten some calls and emails from people that heard how well the Portland’s Funniest went and they were sorry they missed it. Call ahead and make reservations for April 13th if you want to make it. The other night was great; let’s keep the momentum going. That’s it for now; hope to see you at the club.

Happy St. Patty's To Ya!

2006-03-17T02:39:00.000-08:00

Right now it's just a hair past 5:30 AM on the day of Patty. Last night went great. Great crowd, everyone had great sets, and everyone talked up how great George Hamm was as an MC last night. I love working on the Hammy nights, he really charges up the crowd well.

I ended up coming in second place last night. That means I make it to the next round, which is on April 13th, once again at the Comedy Connection. I knew I was having a good set, but I honestly had no idea that I'd continue on. I'm pretty excited about it, because I get another set to add to my repitoire. Lots of the other comics came up to me after my set and congratulated me and told me what a great job I had done. I'm not used to that, but just said "Thanks a lot, I appreciate it," and moved on. Lots of audience members came up after the show to say the same thing. I'm just glad I did well, I had folks up to see the show all the way from Rhode Island and Massachusetts.

I'm also glad my friend Mike caught a good set from me, after all the last show he saw was Lewiston, and that one suuuuuuucked for me. All in all I think everyone had a good time, I feel proud of what I accomplished. Like I said before, it isn't about winning or advancing in the competition, I just wanted to play to a full house. In retrospect though, it does feel pretty good to have advanced.

That's it for now, eggs and kegs is calling. Enjoy your St Patty's. If you were there last night and caught this post, let me know how you liked it. And also if you were there last night, thanks for the support.

Update and a smile!

2006-03-06T09:28:00.000-08:00

I’m including this picture of my friend Mike and I at the Orlando Magic / Boston Celtics game back in February. We rode up on the train in a blizzard and had a blast. Good stuff. Now back to business. I’m writing today to update the blog with some upcoming shows. Obviously I have the show on the 16th for Portland’s Funniest Professional. The other dates are as follows: March 29th, April 16 (Easter Sunday), April 19th, and April 26th. The April 16th show is George Hamm’s show, so a big move up for me. I get a little more stage time for that set, I get the boost from 5 to 8 minutes. All of these shows are at the Portland Comedy Connection. I’ll update after the Portland’s Funniest show, maybe a day or 2 after, all proper Irish boys have to go out for hi jinx on the day of Patty. Look forward to seeing anyone and everyone there. I also included a link to the right for Yelp.com. You can rate entertainment venues and restaurants etc. Seems pretty neat, I rated a couple, we’ll see if it takes off. Also I included a message board as well. Feel free to put something in if you’d like.

Following Bobby? Feb 22

2006-02-23T02:15:00.000-08:00

A surprise guest last night. Bob Marley showed up. He's popped in before, and all I could think before was thank God I didn't have to follow him. Well, I had to follow him. It went well actually. In fact it went great. The crowd was pretty decent for a Wednesday, and I had friends in the room. Bobby picked up the tempo of the room, and when I went on, I just went full force. It actually helped me out in a way, I was planning on going in with more energy this week and he kind of made it so I had to. Thanks Bob.

I got to do housekeeping rules last night. Not a big deal, but cool to me. I got to go out at the beginning of the show and ask people to please mind their chatter during the show and silence their cell phones. You know the common sense stuff.

My material was pretty well put together, trying to tie it down for Portland's Funniest. It felt good to be up there. Everyone told me I had a good set, and I know it wasn't an empty compliment last night. Even Bob said it looked like I was having fun. My new material went over well, 2 out of my 7 jokes were new. I plan on running more new stuff next time, as long as it isn't the competition. I don't want to go running new material and have it not work there. All I can say is I felt good for last night, the crowd was awesome, and the comedy cup was full. Last night is the reason I got into stand up comedy. By the by, I got away with another awkward rape joke. I don't know why I feel like slipping those in. Maybe because all the comics say you shouldn't do them, but if I get one more, I'll call it a hat trick.

I'll update the blog when I have my next dates aside from March 16th. Hope to see you out there. And if Mike's still the only person reading this blog, too bad you weren't there last night, you would've been proud of the kid.

Portland's Funniest Date Set

2006-02-17T14:01:00.000-08:00

This is just a quick message I'm shooting out to let people know that I am going to be doing Portland's Funniest at the Comedy Connection in March. My date is Thursday March 16th, show starts at 8:00 PM. It'll be the day after my birthday, and the day before St Patty's. It the hat trick of days to make a funny Irish boy like me smile. Hope to see you there. Don't show up to see me on the 17th though, I'll probably be drunk and eating corned beef. Unless you're into that, then just go ahead and enjoy it. Eggs and kegs start at 6AM ;)

Eh......

2006-02-09T02:42:00.000-08:00

I guess that's all I can say about last night's show. It was okay, and I had a good set, but the energy wasn't there. Not that anybody really tore it up last night, the feel of the room was just a little deflated. I can't say anyone got up and killed, except for the last joke Karen Morgan told about liking crazy sex. That got a large group of guys stage left hollering and calling her a MILF and what not. She was funny though.

I'm not disappointed, I'll just have to try and focus more next time. I've gotten the better of quieter audiences before, and my energy is just as important to the show as anyone else's. A few people came up to me after the show last night and said I did great, but my opinion of my set was just.... eh....

I know I'm probably being harder on myself than I need to, but I really want to put out a quality product. That's why I nit pick my performances and even if I do well, I can get easily disappointed.

Another 2 weeks until the 22nd back at the Connection. I guess I'll see what I pull out there. It's looking like I'll have more friends at that one, so I'll have to try and bring my "A" game.

The crowd was Mini, but it felt Mighty.

2006-01-27T05:07:00.000-08:00

I’m very pleased with last night’s set. It was a great time for me. Someone cancelled, which gave me an extra minute of stage time, but then while I was onstage I mentioned going over that time anyhow, and I heard Al Doucharme(sp?) say I was fine. That was cool. I just told jokes and didn’t think about time.

The crowd felt really good. It wasn’t even a quarter full, but the crowd laughed like it was at least half to three quarters full. I had some friends there, (Big ups to Spud, Lesley, Eric, and Angela. The support felt nice) and even parents of friends showed up. I was a little nervous about that because I figured my potty mouth might offend them, but they seemed cool with it. As always my fiance Heidi was there, and I sure appreciate her coming to all my shows. I tried more new stuff and even made a couple things up on the spot. It was great. Even a joke that I’ve been told by my fiancé and other comics not to do went over well. I couldn’t help it, I liked the joke, and my old drummer, Eric, was there so I figured he and I have pretty much the same sense of humor and at least he’d laugh. Come to find out most of the crowd had a touch of sick humor in them last night and it worked great. “Welcome to the set awkward rape joke”.

After the show, the headliner pulled me aside and said I had really great and funny material. Tom Ryan told me I had a great set too, which felt nice because he’s one of my favorite local comics. Erin Cyr closed out the show, and if you haven’t seen her set, catch it. I’m not going to blow her material for her, but she closes the set in the best fashion.

One other thing was funny to me about last night too. It was one of those “Take the pebble from my hand grasshopper,” type of moments. There was a young woman came up to me after the show and told me I was funny and my material is well written. I knew she had to be a comic of some sort, so I asked. She’s in Tim’s class currently. That’s one of those statements you usually only hear from comics. People will tell you you’re funny etc, but when they comment on the crafting of your jokes, they usually look for those kinds of things because they’re writing and appreciate how you put it together. It was really funny to me, because I talked to her about how fun the class is and how much I got out of it. I also told her to enjoy the graduation show, because it’s one of the best crowds you’ll get. I heard it all myself a few months ago. It was kind of surreal. Not that I’ve made it or anything, I’m just trying to encourage other people to do it if they’re interested. It’s been fun up to this point.

Next show scheduled is on Feb 8th at the Portland Comedy Connection at 8:30 again. If anything else pops up in the meantime, I’ll update the blog.

2 shows for the moral price of 1?

2006-01-19T05:21:00.000-08:00

Last night’s show was great. Great crowd, I had a great set, and it vindicated the reasons why I wanted to do stand-up comedy. I’m not into to make money, and if you think you can just start out and make money you’re fooling yourself. I think I’m up to a total of $40 so far for earnings, but lets keep that on the hush. I’d hate to have to claim that on my taxes.

The main reason I started was to make people laugh. It feels like a struggle sometimes to get on stage with the anxiety and everything, but when it works, it feels great. It was supposed to be the Karen Morgan show last night, but I guess she was doing a funniest moms thing and couldn’t make it. We had George Hamm as our host last night, and he did a great job. He can really keep the crowd going, and he keeps the mood light in between sets. Great host. The club was probably about three quarters full, and I’d say at least a third of those folks came to see Nick Gill. He was in my workshop too. He had a good set too, I’d say better than his graduation show.

My set was a lot of newer material. I went commando as far as not having a set list, but I think I’ll reel that in for next week and be a little more focused. It still went well and I even told a joke I hadn’t written down or thought out or anything. I know that isn’t a good thing to do because my set could go sour. It was kind of fun though, it felt a bit more risky, but I felt like I could read the crowd a little better and go with jokes that seemed to be working alright.

Now for the other show mentioned. I would’ve mentioned this one before, but I hadn’t had a chance to update the blog until today. I had a set this past Saturday at Spectator’s in Sanford again, but that was also the night of the Patriots game. There were 6 comics that were booked, but nobody showed up for the show. I’m not entirely sure if it was the weather, there was so much fog it was kind of dangerous to drive, or if it was that people wanted to stay home and watch the game. The club owner asked around to see if anyone wanted to go to the comedy show, but only 2 people said yes, but only if all the comics were done by the 3rd quarter. The show was called due to lack of an audience. Those are the breaks.

I do have another show next week on the 26th in Portland, and I’m hoping it goes even half as well as last night.

Bumped!

2005-12-16T10:45:00.000-08:00

The Wednesday Dec 14th show never actually happened this week. There was a private party that conflicted with the time slot, so the Karen Morgan Wednesday show got bumped. I got another show in January though to make up for it. Upcoming shows are all at the Comedy Connection, Portland: January 18, 26th, February 8th and finally the 22nd of Feb. I’m getting excited to try some more new stuff and another style change. If you’ve caught my act already, it couldn’t hurt to check it out again. I like to mix it up. I reworked a couple of my bits and I’m pretty jazzed to give them the treatment. Until then, bye.

Saturday Dec 10th 2005

2005-12-12T05:32:00.000-08:00

The Place- Spectator’s Comedy Barn in Sanford Maine. The mood- awkward. It was a weird night. Here’s the thing. I had a decent set. In fact it was pretty positive. I tried a couple new jokes that went over well. And as far as I know the rest of my set went fairly decent too. Here’s the rub. There were less audience members than comedians. There were perhaps 4 paying audience members, 3 guys that left halfway through the show, and the owner and 2 of his friends. This was a new experience.

I can see where this place would be great on a regular night, but it was just so quiet in there it felt like a tough room. It was really strange. Everyone seemed to have a good set, but it was like that question about a tree falling in the woods and nobody is around to hear it. It was more like, if you have a great punch line and nobody is around to hear it. It’s another life lesson in the comedy world, but honestly, I’m not sure how many nights like that I can take. Even if you do well, you can’t help but feel like you failed at the end of it.
The next night is on Wednesday back in Portland. We’ll see what happens then. I have a funny feeling it’ll be another quiet night, but I guess that’s the business.

December 8th, Comedy Connection Portland

2005-12-09T06:11:00.000-08:00

It feels good to be back at the place where I had my workshop. It feels comfortable. The crowd was great tonight. The club was a little under half full, but it seemed the crowd was pretty positive. Half the crowd pulled up in a stretch Hummer.After the Lewiston show I was having some doubts about doing more sets, but I’m glad I plodded through. I had a great set. Steve Couette (sp?) emceed tonight, and he did a great job warming up the crowd.

I tried something new. I wasn’t feeling super comfortable from before. I was running a specific set that I had to memorize. It felt forced. I did my set without a set list tonight. I just went up and had some new and old stuff and played more with the crowd. It felt more spontaneous. I’m fully aware of how risky it was, it could’ve gone horribly wrong, but I think this way I got to get into a better rhythm with the crowd. Good stuff. I did about 50/50 new and previously performed bits. I even did a bit that Tim told me wasn’t working for me, and it went over great. I think I mixed in a decent mix of thought provoking and poopie humor at the same time.

There were three big surprises for the night. First off, I got paid for the Confetti’s gig. That caught me off guard; I thought I was working free for a while. Then Bob Marley showed up too. I was nervous that he’d be going on before me, but thank the lord he didn’t. He was en fuego last night. It would’ve been tough to follow him. There was one last comic to follow him, and she was good. I liked her set a lot, but the best part was her closer. She takes 2 plastic recorder flutes and puts one in each nostril, and proceeds to play a Christmas Carol with her nose. Brilliant!
There’s another show on Saturday in Sanford at Spectators. Looking more forward to it now. Will update after that show too.

2005-11-30T05:35:00.000-08:00

Lewiston, Maine. November 12th Confetti’s. What a weird place. It’s some kind of dance club, and didn’t seem like a place where comedy should be happening. It’s tucked into a strip mall, and the entrance was so small it fit under an awning for another place that sold inflatable toys. It was a weird night for sure. There were about 7 of us to perform, and you should’ve seen this place. It looks kind of like the club that Tony Montana got shot at in Scarface (the one where Richard Belzer performed), but with neon lights, black lights, and an enormous video screen showing videos from such contemporary hit makers as Rick Springfield and Vanilla Ice. They had us set up with a microphone set up in front of the dance floor, with the huge video screen showing fractals that were dancing like techno vaginas behind us. It pretty much felt like a strip club without the nudity and Motley Crue records.

I can make up excuses until the cows come home about this show, because it didn’t go well, but I don’t like excuses and in the end I’m to blame if somebody didn’t laugh at my jokes. I did okay, I didn’t bomb and got a few laughs, but it was definitely a harsh reality compared to the last show in Portland. I think most of the comics had a hard time that night. One guy, also a newbie but I didn’t know him, was supposed to do five minutes but bolted from the stage in under 3. This is after he showed up late. I’m not going to name names, he’s still working in the area I believe and I certainly wouldn’t have minded skipping out on that one either, but I plowed through. It was a different crowd for sure. They seemed to really like the poopie and pee pee humor the comics were doing earlier, but my precious set that I had crafted previously wasn’t fitting so well for it. Live and learn.

Here are some lessons learned from this show: I have to make sure I have some of that type of humor ready for when I come across another crowd like that. More material is going to be really helpful. I need to relax on stage. I’m going to have nights that don’t go so well, I’ll just work through them and try and learn some lessons. Don’t wear a new black dress shirt to a club after you washed it where they might have black lights. No fooling, the thing looked like I was humping a loosely stitched teddy bear with all the dryer lint on it. It was ridiculous.

Next show is coming up soon. December 8th back at the Portland Comedy Connection. I’m looking forward to it.

The First Show

2005-11-30T05:32:00.000-08:00

The Graduation Show, October 29th 2005 Comedy Connection Portlnd, was a blast. Basically there were ten fresh baby comics all waiting for our family and friends to show up so we could tell some jokes and then head out to have some dinner and share in the life experience. I already had been approached to continue on after the graduation show through Tim. I said I’d stick around and see what would come of it, but that’s a tangent, reel it in, back to the show.

Everyone was waiting upstairs over the Comedy Connection. It was a cool vibe, there were posters of the Blues Brothers and Tieniman Square (sp?) and 2 TV’s set up for recording the performances. The week’s headliner was there, Steve Caouette, who was very cool and gave us all a quick pep talk. He was just kind of hanging out; he had a set on the later show. We were all nervous upstairs, and I tried not to show it, but boy was I excited.
I got to watch everyone go through his or her sets. Some of them doing great, and a couple I’m sure weren’t enjoying their time onstage, but probably glad to have it all come to a head. And then my turn came. I waited in the back of the club as Tom Ryan introduced me. There was a lot of applause, more than I expected, and it was a rush. I had run through my set at least a hundred times, but it didn’t matter I was sucked in by the energy of the crowd. I think I probably could’ve made jokes up on the spot and had them go over. I can’t say it enough, Great crowd! I went through my set, and got some great laughs. I had setup joke with a call-back, and the set-up was a little dark, but it ended up going well, so I knew the rest of the set would go well too. I played a little with the crowd, and when it was over I wanted back on. I had the itch.

Birth of a grey hair.

2005-11-30T04:35:00.000-08:00

This morning it appeared to me. A little grey hair nestled comfortably in my beard. I pulled that bastard as quick as Grady Little should've pulled Pedro. Not because I was ashamed, but because it meant something and I wanted to look at it. It seemed like I should do something today, that's what it said to me. Not literally, because then I'd be off the the funny farm. I thought I should make a document my adventures in stand-up comedy.

I'm a newbie at it, but have been watching stand-up since I can remember. I've always wanted to try it, but I've been scared to fail at it. But a life event happened recently that made me rethink my fear. (Grab a tissue, this is where it gets heavy). My mom passed away recently from complications from cancer. I've often done charity things with a comedy acoustic band I'm in called Pork & Beans for cancer research. It was something that hit home. My brother-in-law had a bout with cancer and survived, which prompted me to look into making more of a positive difference. We play shows and raffled items off to fans to make money and donate to charity. My mother unfortunately didn't survive, and I took a long hard look at myself as she was fighting her illness. She had always taught me to be proud, a gentleman, a hard worker, and right then she taught me not to be afraid of something so trivial as failure. If she could go through what she was going through, and I could cower because people wouldn't laugh at some of my jokes, it felt pretty odd that I should still carry that fear. So I went out and signed up for a workshop, and that's where we are today.

I worked through the Comedy Connection in Portland, Maine under the tutillage of Tim Farrell who has a pretty impressive resume, but that's for another time maybe. I met some great people, and if they knew it or not, they were my once a week therapy for what was going on in my personal life. The class was seven weeks long, and at the end we had a graduation show. I was put on last (a little pressure, but nothing the kid can't handle) and had a great set. The room was packed, and I had all kinds of people coming up after the show telling me how funny I was. I'll go into the detail in another post. Cut. Tarintino forward one week to Lewiston, Maine as the end of my set at a club called Confetti's comes to an end, not nearly the same reaction as a week before. More detail later on, but I'll tell you I sure learned a couple more lessons there.

Basically, I'm going to do a write up of the shows I've done as they progress, and maybe if you'd like you might have been to one of the shows and you can give me your 2 cents. Feel free, that's what this is for. That's pretty much the intro, no horn section or marching band, but it'll get the ball of wax rolling. And who doesn't like rolling wax balls?